Sunday, January 27, 2008

Fake Query 5

In the far-distant future, a genetically-engineered race of lion-human hybrids looks to the ancient world for inspiration in its battle against an insectile hive-mind. (The Last Lion of Sparta)

Snowball is a typical Kitton, a genetically engineered race of lion-human hybrids. Her quiet life as a pigeon whisperer is thrown into turmoil as killer termites sweep across Earth. Snowball takes refuge in an abandoned library during a termite attack. There she discovers the ancient wisdom of 'Spartan Tactics for Dummies'. Armed with her new knowledge, she starts to train her pigeons as Spartan warriors.

The pigeons win some local battles, but Snowball wants to send the tactics out to other Kittons. She meets Tiggs, an expert in ancient forms of communication. Soon the Spartan-pigeon tactics are being broadcast across the world in Morse code - a language so primitive that the termites won't be able to understand it.

The plan works and pigeon squads are deployed everywhere. Just as it looks like the Kittons are gaining ground, spies bring word of a termite plot. The termites plan to ignite the atmosphere, killing all life on Earth. Snowball leads 300 pigeon warriors against the base housing the atmospheric igniter. Meanwhile, Tiggs and a group of dove ninja assassins try to track down the termite queen. The fate of everyone on Earth depends on them.



PJD said...

Independence Day! I would read this book just because you named them Kittons.

Robin S. said...

I love the name Kittons as well. (Somehow it reminded me of that stupid woman, Tawny Kittane, or however the hell her stupid pretend-name was spelled.)

Anyway- love the Corse code reference and the "Spartan Tactics for Dummies" stuff, too!

And the pigeons reminded me of The Birds, and that was freaky. Maybe the pigeons could just snakc on the termites?

Sarah Laurenson said...

I think you should write Spartan Tactics for Dummies as well!

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Ha. Pigeon whisperer and dove ninja assassins. *giggle*

Hope you remembered to put the birdfeeders out today!

Polenth said...

Yay for Kitton love!

I have a bird table that mostly gets pigeons, so when they take over the world I'm sorted.

I wouldn't be surprised if 'Spartan Tactics for Dummies' already existed. I didn't check, but I still wouldn't be surprised.

Chris Eldin said...

I love pigeons.

Anonymous said...

This is insane, and interesting.