Sunday, January 27, 2008

Fake Query 2

Half bear, half video game princess, Grizelda is torn between her loyalty to pixilated fantasy worlds and her love of scaring campers in national parks. /// Sick to death of all the "wicked witch" jokes, sixteen-year-old Grizelda Smitts decides she might as well take up witchcraft--and finds that she's surprisingly good at it. (Grizelda)

Dear Evil One,

Sixteen-year-old Grizelda Smitts believes what goes around comes around. Since kids make fun of her name and her green skin, she decides to show them what it feels like to walk a mile in her shoes. Beauty isn’t skin deep and it’s time these kids learned that lesson.

Rolling up her sleeves and diving into a book on witchcraft, Grizelda brews up the strongest potion she can find which promises to change the appearance of all who are in range when it comes to fruition. But there’s a difference between human time and witch time. The spell matures when Grizelda is the only one near it.

She wakes and smacks her lips. Talk about morning breath. It’s like she was asleep for months. She shuffles out of the cave and faints at the sight of a bear reflected in the nearby stream. When she comes to again, Grizelda looks in a mirror, and sees she’s beautiful with long blond hair, glowing yellow skin and a diamond studded tiara. But every step she takes pings and every move she makes pongs. And what is that music?

Is Grizelda doomed to live half her life crapping in the woods and the other half wishing for earplugs?

Grizelda, a 90,000 word non-fiction picture book, is based on my own experiences as a green teenage witch and the spell that went awry. My previous book, The Berries Diet, was published under the pseudonym of Beary White.



PJD said...

I would read this for sure, knowing it's non-fiction. I guess you learned your lesson, eh, Sarah?

Robin S. said...

Oh, Sarah - the pinging and ponging - what a hoot. Go ahead girl, write it!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Grrr. Ping, pong, pong.

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Hehe. So would this 90K-word picture book be published as, like, a 40-book collection? Or will it come with its own microscope?

Sarah Laurenson said...

It comes with a hernia repair kit.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Might work better as a graphic novel. Hmmmmm. (She says with no illustration talent whatsoever.)

Chris Eldin said...

Good one!