Guess the Plot
Audrey Maeng and the Chinese New Year
1. Audrey's life changes forever when she
goes on a blind date with a handsome dragon dancer. A multicultural
literary fantasy novel that will make you reexamine your view of scales!
2. The
latest in a series of mildly racist children's books about holidays
around the world. Preceded by 'Timmy Karim and the Ramadan,' 'Kelly
Shabat and the Hanukkah,' and 'Sammy McShivers and the Canada Day.'
3. Asked by the principal of her school to host the Chinese New Year Festival, Audrey Maeng wants to scream. She isn't even Chinese. So she ruins the festival by printing signs whose translations are insults and putting doom predictions in the fortune cookies. Nothing makes 3rd grade bearable like a little revenge.
4. Audrey Maeng's Tiger Mom has always made sure she was first at
everything. Valedictorian, All American in Taekwondo, and now she was
headed to the Olympic trials. When she suffers a meniscus tear her
dreams are shattered--until Mike, her hot physical therapist,
starts treating her. Should she bring Mike to Chinese New Year so he can
meet her family? She doubts they will approve of her new boy toy.
5. It’s
a little known fact that
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
almost didn’t get made. They couldn’t find a female lead. That is,
until Blake Edwards went on an all-night binge at General Tso’s 24-hour
Mu Goo Gai Pan Palace, and spotted a terribly thin but quite confused
waitress, with a penchant for overly-long cigarette holders and cheap
fireworks. Also, dumplings. Lots and lots of dumplings.
6. In a
bizarre series of unlikely plot twists, a giant man-eating plant swims
across the Pacific and lands in a distant country. Changing her last
name to reflect her new surroundings, she emerges into society just in
time for the biggest celebration on their yearly calendar. Feeeeed me,
Xi Moah.
7. Audrey's 88th New Year is approaching, and as
double-eight is particularly auspicious in China, she wants to make it a
spectacular event. Bring on the firecrackers, lanterns, red envelopes
and interminable tales about her previous New Years.
8. When
gorgeous Australian ranch hand Han Audrey and fifth generation Chinese
immigrant Pamela Maeng discover that their dream of running a sheep farm
is threatened by mysteriously cheap Chinese wool they realize that
something just isn't right: the anti-democratic Chinese totalitariat has
discovered a way to squeeze two year's worth of time into a single
year!
9. Twelve year old, Audrey Maeng has waited a long time, for
this night, to rid herself of that gnat of a ghost. Grandma said that it
came twelve years ago, during the year of the horse, and could only be
cleansed under that sign. Looking at the open drawers of the dresser,
with her recently folded clothing hanging out, she is more determined
than ever. But Audrey will learn that some horses have a mind of their
own as--do some ghosts.
10. Audrey Maeng used to love Chinese New
Year. But now that she's an executive for a global corporation that does
its manufacturing in China, she just sees it as an annoying week of no
work getting done. Can three spirits help Audrey remember the true
meaning of Chinese New Year? Also: an amnesiac parrot.
11. When
Audrey Maeng's DRAGON ONE ship malfunctioned somewhere over Saturn, she
knew she was in for an adventure. Now she's in some crazy city where
people are chasing after her, trying to set her tails on fire. How will
she get out of this with her virtue intact? Also, singing crawdads.
12. Audrey
has been trapped inside the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas for three
weeks. Everyday is Chinese New Year. Has her aunt been practicing black
magic to win at blackjack again, or is her aunt's ex-husband, the washed up
"magician" back in town?
Original Version
Dear Evil Editor,
There
are three Chinese students at Calla Lily Elementary,
[so it's decided that the school play will be The Mikado, a decision that sparks the 3rd Sino-Japanese War.] but Audrey Maeng
isn't one of them. A Korean-American girl, Audrey is extremely
frustrated that her classmates (and teachers!) can't seem to understand
that Asia is made up of different countries.
[Of course it is. There's China, and . . . some other Asian countries.] The last straw comes when
the principal asks Audrey to be the host of the school's Chinese New
Year Festival... and her costume, of all things, is a kimono.
[Seems like the kimono would be more annoying if Audrey were Chinese.] [How does Audrey know the three Chinese students and several other kids haven't already declined the request to host the festival?]
As
much as Audrey would like to refuse and write an angry letter to the
school board,
[You did say she was in elementary school, right?] she doesn't want to get in trouble for refusing.
[Not clear why she'd get in trouble.] And,
okay, she could use the extra credit. With the approval and assistance
of Yahong Li, the
[Vietnamese] student in charge of coordinating everything, Audrey
plants a few small "mistakes": changed lettering on the signs, some
misplaced firecrackers,
["Misplaced" means temporarily lost. Is that what you mean? Or do you mean strategically placed?] fortune cookies. Nothing too big. Just a few
jokes for anyone paying attention.
But when the Festival arrives,
everything falls apart in the worst way. The lettering translates to
insults Audrey didn't realize beforehand. The firecrackers go off too
early, and nearly burn down the stage. Even the fortune cookies are
predicting doom and disaster for the people who open them.
[Just to up the stakes a bit, change that last sentence to: And the explosive charges in the fortune cookies maim all the students in Mrs. Patrick's 1st grade class.] [I don't see how the doom-predicting fortunes can be an example of things falling apart; Audrey did know what the fortunes said, right?]
Audrey
wanted to make a point, but she didn't mean to ruin Chinese New Year.
[Actually, the three jokes you list do seem more likely to make a mess than to make a point. If her point is that not everyone who looks Asian is Chinese, the time to make it was when she was asked to be host, by telling the principal, "No thanks, but I'll be happy to host the Hangeul Proclamation Day Festival, you bigoted jerk."] Now, with the principal furious and Yahong refusing to speak to her,
[She did have Yahong's approval and assistance for her jokes.] Audrey has to fix what she's done -- and fast.
[None of what was done sounds fixable. The best she can do is hire a political damage-control team.]
AUDREY MAENG AND
THE CHINESE NEW YEAR
[FESTIVAL] is a middle grade contemporary novel complete at
50,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Notes
Audrey Maeng Ruins the Chinese New Year Festival?
How Audrey Maeng Ruined the Chinese New Year Festival?
I'm Not Chinese, You Idiots!?
Hard to believe Audrey didn't know what the lettering translated to. Did she just make random symbols? Seems more likely she'd decide what she wanted the signs to say and ask Yahong to translate into Chinese.
If it's a middle grade book, why set it at an elementary school? Especially as wanting to write an angry letter to the school board and pulling pranks like changing the signs and the fortunes strike me as middle or even high school. Can you include Audrey's age/grade?
Wouldn't the student "in charge of coordinating everything," and not the principal, be the person who recruits a host?
The query's okay, and the point being made is worthwhile, but what could possibly make Audrey think that when people go to this Chinese New Year Festival and see her joke signs and read their joke fortunes and hear the ill-timed firecrackers, they're gonna think, Hmm, I now realize there
are many unique cultures in Asia. Does Audrey do anything that
might help the uninformed to realize that?