Sunday, January 27, 2008

Fake Query 3

Todd has never been part of the Crisco crowd, opting for single partner sex . . . but when the hot new swingers club opens up on Pheelmore Avenue, Todd decides an “orgy” is in order. It isn’t until he pays the two hundred bucks and follows the circuitous underground tunnel that he discovers he’s in the orangutan cage of the city zoo. (The Nature Room)

Dear Agent,

On his 21st birthday, Barnaby Canley discovers his manservant is in reality his half-brother Tag; he spurns his aristocratic and privileged upbringing for the hardships of sailing and exploration. Together, the half-brothers travel to Africa in search of equality and adventure. In Africa they learn true equality when an accident forces them to renounce their humanity and return to civilization as beasts of the jungle.

Set against the backdrop of savage Africa and the slave trade, "The Nature Room" is a 100,000-word novel of Irish class structure in the early 19th century. A rich and privileged aristocrat and his low-class half-brother leave Scotland for the seafaring life of explorers. They quickly determine to seek equality in unexplored Africa. As they travel to the Congo and become the first Europeans to establish a station above the waterfalls and rapids of the Congo River. They struggle to maintain what the French and Americans embraced in their revolutions as Liberty, Equality and Fraternity in the face of slave trade, crooked chieftains, wild animals and insects. Disappointed and unable to change the world, Tag and Barnaby change their physical beings and join the lesser primates to achieve their dream of living together as equals. As modern society rejects them, they live out their lives at the first Zoo in Vienna.

I am as yet unpublished.

I've enclosed the first three pages of this novel. Thank you for your time and effort.

Dave F.


Robin S. said...

Whoa, Dave. A sweeping epic there!

Sorta like Tarzan the Irish Apeman meets The 19th Century.

Love your line - "I am as yet unpublished."

Sarah Laurenson said...

Interesting premise, Dave. I like that they can change their physical shape. Sounds exciting.

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Ooh, it's like fusion cooking in story form. Irish, French, Scottish, African, and Austrian. With just a hint of chimp. Mmm. Delicious.

Dave Fragments said...

It's historical. Lots of research. But that's what makes it interesting. It's worth a try. I've only ever abandoned two or three stories that I started. If it doesn't work out, then I can always write the original plot in the 20th century.

Anonymous said...

Did you have the plot idea before you did the Fake#Fake query? It sounds really cool, and the tone of the query is spot on! I am so enjoying all of these, except I keep trying to remember which is the real story name+ the GTPs. I think I will be scrolling for days trying to match them all up.

Really enjoyed this Dave

Chris Eldin said...

It sounds interesting. Is this sortof like Planet of the Apes, with a philosophical twist?

Dave Fragments said...

Most my short stories deal with some sort of transformation. So when this popped up randomly, it immediately interested me. What I didn't care for and changed was the focus on cheesy sex for money. It was too one-dimensional. There's too much of that type of writing out on the internet now. oversexed guy, girl, alien, animal meets another oversexed guy, girl, alien, animal and immediately loses clothing and virginity. Hump, hump, suck, suck, kissy, kissy, live happily ever after in regret and lustful sex.
And that's not counting the S&M stuff that gives me the giggles.

BTW - This was facelift 350 and the real story has nothing to do with this plot.

PJD said...

Too deep for me. But then you read the query I submitted for this exercise, and no doubt you surmised that right away.

I find this--Tag and Barnaby change their physical beings and join the lesser primates--an intriguing concept, and I begin to wonder... do our politicians do this shortly after winning election?

Dave Fragments said...

Dana Milbank wrote an entire book titled: HOMO POLITICUS that deals with what Homo Sapiens become when they enter Washington DC.

PJD said...

Ha! I see that you submitted the first 500 for Nathan Bransford's contest. I liked what you wrote. Though I admit I kind of skimmed over the paragraph with the long names.

Dave Fragments said...

Gadzoocks (well, it's better than cursing). YES, I did put the first 500 words over on Nathan Bransford's Blog. I started writing the opening with the query to get the ideas clear in my head. I needed a frame to set it in the past and
500 words is about all the writing I'll show anyone. I have maybe double that complete. I need some Thomas Jefferson quotes on the equality of man and some praise of Darwin the scientist. THat takes time.
I have a rough outline and a couple thousand words of research floating around (to get the history right), so why not submit it?

And as for the long names:
Turlough Ua-Tuathail - Turlock O'Toole
Caisleán Uí-Domhnaill - Castle Donegal
Aodh Mac-An-Airchinnigh - Abe McInery Graignamanagh is a town
Contae Chill-Chainnigh - County Killkenny

Now do you see the reason they took new names - Tag and Barnaby Canley? the names are plain to me because I played bagpipes in college and hung out with the Scottish Pipe Bands.

Anonymous said...

I think you deserve some sort of award for making the most ridiculous random plot sound so serious -- and workable.