Face-Lift 121

Guess the Plot

Aisling's Tale

1. As he endures constant jostling, and luggage raining from the racks above, Kyle Freeble dreams of one day having a window seat.

2. Aisling, the religious leader of a pagan clan, converts to Christianity. Her husband decides to punish her by sacrificing their son to the fire god. Will Aisling try Buddhism next?

3. Professor Kettlewick, composing his treatise on17th-century Irish vision poems, is unaware that his nightmare of a world overrun by cybernetic leprechauns is about to become all too real.

4. Aisling, a bard and storyteller at The Toad’s Beard Inn, is living a quiet life until Widowcracken, the evil overlord, kidnaps him and presses him into service as his personal entertainer.

5. When four-year old Aisling O'Connor places at the bottom of the pre-school 'Spell Your Own Name' competition she vows vengeance on her Irish ancestors.

6. A sparrow cursed to live as a human, Aisling spends far too much time seeking pants that hide his last remaining tail feather.


Original Version

“Christ is my druid now.”

With these words, Aisling O’Ceallaigh rejects the ancient gods of her people. Destined from childhood to succeed her dead mother as druidess to her clan, Aisling has hidden a secret that could mean death if it is discovered - she doubts the power of the gods she is to serve, and nurses a hope that something else exists beyond the universe she knows.

Aisling keeps her secret concealed until the day she stumbles upon a secret ritual in the midst of ancient standing stones. [Is it Stonehenge?] A prophecy has been circulating throughout Ireland, predicting the coming of a foreign god. The druid Ronan is about to sacrifice the life of a young boy in order to keep the prophecy from being fulfilled. Aisling sabotages Ronan’s plan to rescue Luc, [Luc . . . I am your Druidess.] exposing her faithlessness.

On the journey home to face the judgment of her own clan, Aisling falls out of the cauldron and into the fire when a chieftain bent on revenge against her father abducts her. Despite her attempts to escape Lorcan MacKenna, he prevails by threatening her father’s life, and Aisling enters into a loveless marriage. When a former British slave named Patrick receives permission to camp outside the ringfort gates, Aisling hears the Gospel and receives Jesus Christ. Her husband decides to offer their son [Their son? When did that happen?] in the Samhain fires to punish her. Aisling hides the child and faces her husband’s fury alone, trusting her Lord for ultimate redemption.

Aisling’s Tale is a historical romance, [You forgot to include anything in the query that would indicate there's a romance.] [Her marriage is loveless; does she have a love affair with the slave? Apparently while he was turning her on to Christainity, he "forgot" the part about not committing adultery?] and takes place at the dawn of Christianity in fifth-century pagan Ireland. The finished manuscript is 98,000 words.

I have included the first chapter. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.


Revised Version

“Christ is my druid now.”

With these words, Aisling O’Ceallaigh rejects the ancient gods of her people. Destined from childhood to succeed her dead mother as druidess to her clan, Aisling has a secret that could mean death if it is discovered - she doubts the power of the gods, and nurses a hope that something else exists beyond the universe she knows.

Aisling keeps her secret concealed until the day she stumbles upon a secret ritual in the midst of ancient standing stones. A prophecy has been circulating throughout Ireland, predicting the coming of a foreign god, and the druid Ronan is about to sacrifice the life of a young boy to prevent the prophecy's fulfillment. Aisling sabotages Ronan’s plan and rescues Luc, exposing her faithlessness.

On the journey home to face the judgment of her clan, Aisling falls out of the cauldron and into the fire when a chieftain bent on revenge against her father abducts her. Despite her attempts to escape Lorcan MacKenna, he prevails by threatening her father’s life, and Aisling enters into a loveless marriage, one that produces her first son.

When a former British slave named Patrick receives permission to camp outside the ringfort gates, Aisling finds herself entranced by both his hunky bod and his preaching of the Gospel. She receives Jesus Christ. And shouts, "Hallelujah!" Then she also receives Patrick. And again shouts, "Hallelujah!" Her husband decides to offer their son in the Samhain fires to punish her, but Aisling hides the child and faces her husband’s fury alone, trusting her Lord for ultimate redemption.

Aisling’s Tale is a historical romance, and takes place at the dawn of Christianity in fifth-century pagan Ireland. The finished manuscript is 98,000 words. I have included the first chapter. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.


Notes

Evil Editor didn't change much, except where the author seemed to be letting a year go by between sentences, and adding the romance angle. It sounded more like an inspirational book than a romance in the original.