Face-Lift 127

Guess the Plot

Dream War

1. DreamWarrior X!sha'rrr is charging into battle when he suddenly realizes he's wearing nothing but his underwear.

2. By day they are strangers, ordinary people riding the same bus to work. But by night, Randy and Erica fight pitched battles that could determine the fate of DreamWorld--and of mankind itself.

3. The CIA has a new weapon that allows them to insert their operatives into the dreams of our enemies to extract information. Little do they know that Luczveyn Dred, a sinister entity that covets our world, is also planning an attack through dreams.

4. December 2002--Bush and Rove fall victim to a forgotten Russian mind-weapon which induces dreams of happy Iraqis welcoming the 3rd Infantry with open arms.

5. Private First Class Cordelia Winge sweats it out in basic training, knowing that somewhere there is a war with honor, with dignity, with curtains.

6. They declare war. You posture. They surrender. DreamWar.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

What evil lurks within the shadow of our dreams? [Only the CIA knows.] In 1981, a CIA subsidiary, the Oneirology Institute of America, perfected technology to insert their operatives into people’s dreams. In the interests of National Security, they intended to extract information from our enemies’ minds. [Turned out our enemies mostly dreamed about sex, food, and falling from cliffs; almost never about state secrets.] Their initial successes led them into an ambush. All O.I.A. agents, except Hector Lopez, were murdered. He escaped a shadowy entity with the help of a mysterious medallion. [He dangled it in front of the shadowy entity, hypnotizing it.] [Then, for laughs, he told the shadowy entity it was a chicken.]

This week, in Naples, Italy, tourist Andy Falconer discovered an ancient medallion hidden in his luggage. [This week? And you've written a book about it already?] When the hotel manager was found murdered in Andy’s ransacked room, a detective transported him to Rome supposedly to provide him protection. The following day, in the sacristy of a basilica, he witnessed the murder of a priest. The dying man’s final act was to press a medallion into Andy’s hand identical to the one he’d found in his suitcase.

Now, a terrorist group plots to conceal knowledge of Mount Vesuvius’ impending eruption. [They've dropped a million smokeless ashtrays into the crater.] [How is it that a terrorist group knows of this impending eruption, but volcanologists aren't swarming all over the place?]

Naples resident: There seems to be a lot of smoke coming from the volcano these days. Also, rumbling noises, spewing ash, boulders being thrown into the air, the occasional lava flow.
Terrorist: Relax. It's nothing. A practical joke. Kids these days.

They are loyal to Luczveyn Dred, the sinister entity that’s dimension intertwines with our own, through our dreams. It covets our world. The volcanic catastrophe would provide sufficient momentum for it to breech dimensions and inflict a reign of terror on earth. Soon, it will be too late to evacuate Naples and millions will die. [Does Luc just need an eruption to breach dimensions? Or does he need millions of deaths. I don't think you can rely on a volcano killing millions.] Can Lopez, Andy, and others willing to fight evil, unite, defeat Luczveyn Dred, and save the world from apocalypse? Please do your part by reading the enclosed writing sample and responding as soon as possible (SASE is enclosed).

DreamWar, a horror novel disguised as a thriller, [In an attempt to keep horror fans from buying it.] is complete at 77,000 words. It weaves elements of fictional history, dark fantasy, and suspense into a story that is available upon your request. It has already been professionally copyedited.

For three seasons, I reported weekly for Footballguys.com, a website with a subscription base of seventy-thousand. I look forward to working with you in pursuit of DreamWar’s publication.

Best,


Notes

There's too much here that Evil Editor doesn't buy. That everyone in a CIA subsidiary would be in the same place, allowing an ambush that kills them all. That operatives can be inserted into dreams, and get useful information. That terrorists can conceal an impending volcanic eruption. That the parents of a shadowy entity would name their kid Luczveyn.

Also, it doesn't feel right to set up a spy story, with the dream infiltration and the medallions, and then bring in an entity from another dimension trying to take over Earth. I think you should write a horror novel or a thriller, and not disguise one as the other. But perhaps my minions will see things differently.