Face-Lift 99

Guess the Plot

The Wings of Winter

1. Sparrow loves the prince, but to help him save his kingdom, she must bring forth her latent non-human powers.

2. In the year 2074, a bionically-enhanced Sir Paul McCartney revives his band members from their cryogenic sleep for one more really, truly final farewell tour.

3. Ebenezer Grout, trying to forensically track down the young rapscallion who put all those snow angels in his yard, spends all winter taking measurements up and down the block.

4. A husband-and-wife architect team who have grown to loathe each other decide to stay together for purely economic reasons in their dream split-level Georgian Revival with separate entrances.

5. Lonely ornithologist Red Crest McGuffin finds love and scandal when his binoculars spot nude campers barbecuing a rare Arctic Loon in Yosemite National Park.

6. A frustrated Tokyo-born butterfly mutant named Thomas Swallowtail, angry at the state of the world because he can't seem to hold down a job, flaps his wings at just the right moment to bring about nuclear winter conditions in New York.

Original Version

Dear agent,

When Sparrow’s adoptive family is slaughtered, her survival depends on embracing a birthright that pushes her further and further from her own humanity. [And closer and closer to her birdness.] The Wings of Winter is an epic fantasy of 125,000 words with themes appropriate to adult and strong young adult readers.

After mercenaries raze Sparrow's village, a chance encounter with a hunting falcon [Is this the same Sparrow that killed Cock Robin? If so, I think we can assume that the "chance encounter" with the falcon was attempted murder.] brings her stumbling into the path of Owen, Crown Prince of Tremont. [Alias: The Stork.] She relays information that saves his life, [The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Oops, wrong bird story.] allying them against their common enemy, Elias, an Aliud shape shifter. [The guy from another realm has a normal name? Someone check and see if pigs are flying.] Elias has engineered chaos in both Human and Aliud realms with the deaths of their respective monarchs. [I'd say there's chaos in the Aliud realm 24/7, whether the monarch is dead or not, assuming they're all shape shifters. Can you imagine a world in which everyone can change into anyone or anything? Actually, it might be boring. All the women would look like Julia Roberts, and all the men would look like . . . Julia Roberts.] Now he seeks to take control of the Aliud kingdom and reclaim land from Tremont that once belonged to the shape shifters. [He's just trying to get back what's rightfully his? Are you sure he's the bad guy here?] Sparrow, half-Aliud, is heir to power that Elias needs. Because she is half-human, many of the Aliud see Sparrow as a threat and an abomination, but some accept her as kin. Because she is half-Aliud, many in Tremont [see her as an ostrich and] doubt her loyalties. Elias exploits the fractures within Aliud society and the Human's fear of the Aliud to push the races toward war. In order to oppose Elias and help Owen prevent Tremont’s destruction, Sparrow must harness her latent abilities even as her growing power alienates her from the human life she once knew and the prince she has come to love. [What are Sparrow's latent abilities? Shape shifting?] [If Evil Editor discovered that his woman had special abilities, he wouldn't feel alienated. He'd convince her to use these powers to make EE rich, famous, powerful, and even more handsome. That's why Bewitched was so unrealistic. Darren didn't want Sam using her witchcraft. What an idiot. And then when Darren number two took over, he was just as stupid.]

My publications include non-fiction and creative writing credits. The most recent (“Chronic Pain” in Physical Rehabilitation, 5th edition, FA Davis,) is currently in press. My poetry has been published in Stirring: A Literary Collection, World Haiku Review, [World Haiku Review? I wonder if they would publish any of Evil Editor's Haikus:

Novel? Why Bother?
World Haiku Review:
With seventeen syllables
You can be published.

Perfect Threesome
Penelope Cruz,
Maria Sharapova,
Evil Editor.

Sparrow's Dissent
Not tonight, Owen.
I refuse to change into
Heidi Klum again.

Poems Niederngasse, and New Solutions. I am currently writing MindBlind, a speculative fiction/thriller and outlining The House of Many Doors, a young adult ghost story.

My full manuscript is available upon request. Please find enclosed a SASE as per your guidelines. Thank you for your time and your attention.

Sincerely,


Revised Version

Dear agent,

When Sparrow’s adoptive family is slaughtered, her survival depends on embracing a birthright that distances her from her own humanity. The Wings of Winter is an epic fantasy of 125,000 words with themes appropriate to adult and strong young adult readers.

After mercenaries raze Sparrow's village, she encounters Owen, Crown Prince of Tremont. She relays information that saves his life, winning his trust in an alliance against their common enemy, Elias, an Aliud shape shifter. Elias has engineered chaos in both Human and Aliud realms with the deaths of their monarchs.

Elias exploits the fractures within Aliud society and the Humans' fear of the Aliud to push the races toward war. Sparrow, half-Aliud, is heir to power that Elias needs. To oppose Elias and help prevent Tremont’s destruction, Sparrow must harness her latent Aliud abilities--even if doing so alienates her from the prince she loves.

My publications include non-fiction (“Chronic Pain” in Physical Rehabilitation, 5th edition, FA Davis,) and poetry, which has appeared in Stirring: A Literary Collection and New Solutions.
The manuscript is available upon request. Please find enclosed a SASE as per your guidelines. Thank you for your time and your attention.

Sincerely,


Notes

Amazing what a little cutting and paragraphing can do to add clarity. But who are the Aliud? Space invaders? Dimension hoppers?