Face-Lift 95

Guess the Plot

Stolen Magic

1. Archmage Blackwell makes a dark pact with Diebold Magic Systems to provide corrupted amulets to all of the wizards in Ohio.

2. Lectara, the priestess of the Fire God’s temple, has lived for centuries by stealing the bodies of her successors. And Morganise is next in line.

3. Newlyweds Paul and Irene were more in love and happier than they ever thought possible--until a ghost from Paul's past came into town: flight attendant Sherry St. James.

4. A chemistry major invents a new hallucinogen, "Magic," that compels professors to give every paper an A. When it's stolen before finals, can the chem major, a sorority beauty, and the ghost of a lovelorn freshman regain the serum in time to slip it into Prof. Quimby's tea?

5. An Olympic snowboarder, favored to win the gold medal in halfpipe, breaks his leg and must miss the Games, opening the door for his rival (in sport and love) to take his place and possibly win the heart of Olympic teammate Jenny O'Hearn.

6. After making Joan's husband disappear on stage, magician David Copperfield is forced to concede to her that he can't bring the man back, having mysteriously lost his powers.


Original Version

Dear ????:

Morganise must free the gentle Mother Goddess, who is being held against her will. But how can a simple country girl defeat the impetuous Fire God? [And why is a simple country girl the one who must defeat the Fire God? What can a simple country girl do that the Mother Goddess herself can't do?] [Is the Mother Goddess the mother of the Fire God? Because usually gods have more respect for their elders. You didn't see Ares holding Hera against her will. She'd have turned him into a squid.] Touched by the goddess, Morganise acquires abilities known only from legend. [Such as?] As her powers unfold, she draws the attention of Lectara, the priestess of the Fire God’s temple. Lectara has lived for centuries by stealing the bodies of her successors, and Morganise is the next in line. [A simple country girl is successor to the Fire God's temple priestess? How was that determined?]

The angst-ridden relationship with Morganise’s childhood friend, Keldan, as well as the origins of Kechli, a blind and twisted spirit-handler, tell of how we are all connected on a level we don’t always understand. [As I understand it, we're all connected to Kevin Bacon.] When tradition erodes so does that connection, leaving a deep loneliness behind. Morganise is driven by a need to lessen the loneliness, to find a place in a world that has never really wanted her. [Driven to do what? Free the Mother Goddess? How will that lessen the loneliness?] [Usually it's societal outcasts that the world doesn't want, not simple country girls.]

I am affiliated with Web Writing Women, [So you're the people responsible for everyone having to type www every time they want to go anywhere.] Critters.com, and Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc. where in 2000 my confession story won 1st HM. I wrote a weekly column for Shawnee News-Star, and a monthly column for the newsletter of my hometown writer’s club, PAWS, of which I was president. I also wrote all the copy for a retail website. [It's traditional to include the book's word count, and even its title in the letter.]

I will be glad to send a sample, if you so request. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,


Notes

The second paragraph could be describing a completely different book from that being described in the first paragraph. It tells us who a couple characters are, but nothing about their role in the book's plot. I recommend giving us more on the villainess Lectara, more plot, and a better connection between the two paragraphs. If that means eliminating the credits paragraph, so be it.