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Guess the Plot

Junior Raines is Dead

1. When the Baltimore Orioles release a single that shoots up the pop music charts, nerdy paraplegic Yankees fan Timmy Blithesdale sees a mysterious message spelled out backwards in the MP3 data file. Can he and his alcoholic former detective pal solve the riddle and prevent the Yankees from winning another World Series?

2. Millie had problems. The soda shop wouldn't take her check; her neighbor, local mime and mechanic Junior Raines, turned up dead. Worse, Junior had willed Milly his prize-winning turtle. Then things got interesting...

3. A NASCAR groupie in mourning for her favorite driver falls for a hunky mechanic - who may have forgotten to tighten Junior's lug nuts.

4. Jazz trumpeter Junior Raines brought nothing but heartache to his wife, his five children, his two mistresses, and his bandmates. But when Junior dies suddenly, the void he leaves in their lives is more profound than anyone had anticipated.

5. When his uncle dies, Conrad hopes for an inheritance. But the estate is controlled by Conrad's mother, who's fed up with Conrad lately. Will mother be the next to go?

6. Junior Raines is dead. Sonny Clear is the prime suspect. Can Detective Weathers sort out the facts before a storm front of murder strikes Big Muddy?


Original Version

Dear Agent:

I'm writing to ask you to consider representing my 111,000-word literary novel titled Junior Raines is Dead.

In the space of a week, Conrad Marshall finds his uncle's dead body, [If his uncle is Junior Raines, you might say so, thus avoiding having readers reach the end of the query and think, Yeah, but who the hell is Junior Raines?] loses his job, acts on his persistent attraction to his brother's wife, and learns that he may receive a large inheritance from his uncle—if he can convince his mother he won’t squander the money. [His mother knows better. He'll squander it on a Mexican jewelry kiosk at the mall.]

Conrad is a dreamer whose failure to meet the expectations of his accomplished, established Southern family is a source of constant frustration and friction. He dreams of owning a jewelry store [Aha! I finally guessed one right.] and impressing his family with his success. After his wealthy uncle dies, Conrad plans to use his inheritance to start his store. But his mother controls the estate, and she's reluctant to finance Conrad's ambitions, [Which leads to the sequel: Conrad Marshall's Mother is Dead.] especially after he loses his job and begins flirting with his sister-in-law. While waiting for his inheritance, Conrad discovers a Native American burial ground deep in the family's woods. His uncle's best friend, Vance Ledbetter, is raiding the burial ground and selling the artifacts on the black market. Rather than alert the authorities, Conrad sabotages the dig, [He plants land mines all around it, until, inevitably . . . Vance Ledbetter is Dead.] hoping to earn his mother's respect and his inheritance in the process. [You blew up a Native American burial ground and killed Vance? You've proven you deserve a jewelry store of your own.] But Vance is on to Conrad. His men find Conrad alone one day, [and . . . Conrad Marshall is Dead.] and the resulting violence forces him to do some belated growing up. [How profitable is it for Vance to dig up this stuff if he has a team of men on his payroll, sneaking the most valuable items into their pockets? Presumably these men were hired to dig up artifacts; that they aren't reluctant to commit violent acts against Conrad seems somewhat unlikely.] He takes control of his future and in doing so earns his store and an opportunity for real-life success and satisfaction. [That's a bit quick. Thugs beat him up so he grows up and takes control of his life? It could just as easily inspire him to seek revenge.]

Junior Raines is Dead explores the disconnect between dreams and reality and the dynamics of family acceptance and obligation. This novel should appeal to readers who enjoyed Richard Russo's Empire Falls. I’ve enclosed the first three pages and an SASE. The complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your valuable time.

Sincerely,


Revised Version

Dear Agent:

In the space of a week, Conrad Marshall finds his uncle's dead body, loses his job, acts on his persistent attraction to his brother's wife, and learns that he may receive a large inheritance from his uncle—if he can convince his mother he won’t squander the money.

Conrad is a dreamer whose failure to meet the expectations of his accomplished, established Southern family is a source of constant frustration and friction. He dreams of owning a jewelry store and impressing his family with his success. Conrad plans to use his inheritance to start his store. But his mother controls the estate, and she's reluctant to finance Conrad's ambitions.

When Conrad discovers that his uncle's best friend, Vance Ledbetter, is raiding a Native American burial ground deep in the family's woods, and selling the artifacts on the black market, he sees an opportunity to earn his mother's respect--and his inheritance. He sabotages the dig. But Vance is on to Conrad, and a violent encounter forces Conrad to do some belated growing up.

My 111,000-word literary novel titled Junior Raines is Dead explores the disconnect between dreams and reality and the dynamics of family acceptance and obligation. I’ve enclosed the first three pages and an SASE. The complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your valuable time.

Sincerely,


Notes

Have you given any thought to turning this into a murder mystery? First the rich uncle dies, then the mother who won't give Conrad his inheritance. Conrad is a suspect, but so is Ledbetter, and the old Native American patriarch whose ancestors are buried on the property, and Conrad's father, who's universally hated, and Richard Russo, whose novel was erroneously cited, etc.

I ask only because the opening (In the space of a week, Conrad Marshall finds his uncle's dead body, loses his job, acts on his persistent attraction to his brother's wife, and learns that he may receive a large inheritance from his uncle—if he can convince his mother he won’t squander the money.) has the tone of a query for a humorous murder mystery.

So . . . who the hell is Junior Raines?