Queries Waiting (0)



Below, listed in the order received, are the titles of books whose query letters have been submitted for ridicule, but which have not been critiqued.

In order to offer the "Guess the Plot" feature with each query critique, Evil Editor needs his minions to suggest amusing fake plots for the titles. Send your fake plots as comments to this post. Try to limit them to 50 words. Don't worry if your plot is ridiculous; the actual plots usually are, as well.


Titles will be added to the list as new query letters come in, so check back.  




The queue is empty! It's the perfect time to submit your query. Yes, you.


21 comments:

CavalierdeNuit said...

Hey EE! Since I'm a twitter user, and I follow you, would you mind maybe tweeting when new queries appear in the queue please? Thanks!

Evil Editor said...

Good idea.

Ireth said...

Are we allowed to send in revisions after our initial queries have been critiqued? Is there a minimum time we should wait before doing that?

Evil Editor said...

Resubmissions are fine. There's no time limit, though experience has shown that the queries of those who resubmit the fastest are rarely improvements.

Anonymous said...

After Edith breaks up with her boyfriend, she gets a job at Yellowstone for the summer. No hot crepuscular vampire awaits her, but she falls in love with the evenings, the sunsets, and a hot ranger with a sun allergy. Can she attract his attention with bad poetry?

Anonymous said...

After Evelyinne's parent sell her to an evil fairy, she escapes and goes to the big city to work in the textile industry. She hears rumors of guards hunting for a malicious witch who's turning people into animals, only to realize later the cloth she weaves is responsible. Can she convince the fairy who now hates her to help her learn to control her powers?

Anonymous said...

When Ferdinand sets out to win the "Best Weaver" prize at the local state fair, well, let's just say there's a slight misunderstanding....

Anonymous said...

A comprehensive guide on how to weave in 200 different animal designs as part of whatever craft project is on hand. Plus 10 short stories that inspired some of the patterns.

Dawn Martinez-Byrne said...

What else do you call a cross between a bear and a tarantula?

beast weaver

Anonymous said...

The Beast Weaver - a genius geneticist manages to breed Przewalski horses recently reintroduced to the Russian landscape with the DNA of mammoth creatures. So what do you get?

Huge horses with tusks and elephant feet. Quite a combo plate.

Wilk/Mac

Anonymous said...

Beast Weaver
Beauty’s friend takes up a new hobby

Anonymous said...

Lisa’s new weaving kit looks like a lame present. But one day she starts to use it, and strange things happening. Fierce creatures roam through her house every night. Seems like she’s the one creating them with the kit. Can she weave one big enough to bite off her French teacher’s head before her mid-years?

JSF said...

Dennis is lost again. In a nearly perfect world, where everything has its place and makes sense, Dennis can’t remember where he lives. He knows he went up the right road and made the right left, but when? Is that Albert kid playing tricks again? That son of a bitch.

Anonymous said...

none of my comments seem to be showing up, but here goes.........

The House at the Crossroads of Time

All Peter Finlay wanted was a place to hole up until the manhunt moved on. He was willing to put up with a few ghosts, until he discovered himself among them. Now he's not certain he'll still exist if he leaves. Also, taxidermy instruction.

Anonymous said...

House at the crossroads...
Delightful anachronisms happen all the time(!)...dinosaurs on the driveway, romans on the roof, crusaders in the cupboards. As long as the indoor plumbing remains fixed in this century, the Fillison family has some great alliterative adventures.

JRMosher said...

Guess-the-Plot submission for 'The House at the Crossroads of Time':

When Cody Little learns that leaving his house by the side door puts him on the street one hour earlier than leaving by the front door, and the back door opens onto yesterday, how will he use this ability to control time? Should he save lives, cheat the lottery, or finally catch up on binge-watching Netflix?

Anonymous said...

Jezebel saw the house for sale in the local paper. It was reasonably priced and within walking distance of her job. Yet after the house tour, it seems twenty years have passed since anyone has seen her, and she hasn't aged a day.

Anonymous said...

A fairy's job is never done. She has sworn to be the godmother for this family for generation and the latest one wants a doozy. Who would have thought that a full set of tactical gear as well as an evening gown was all the rage nowadays?

Anonymous said...

Covert Cinderella

Super spy Ash Wednesday is assigned to uncover a government plot by posing as the daughter of a widow. She doesn't like her "sisters," hates the household chores, and the pestering by faeries--but it's all part of the job. As for the masquerade balls where deals are going down, there's a reason Ash is known as a Master of Disguise: animal, vegetable, and mineral are fair game. Also, glass stilettos that aren't footwear.

Are anonymous comments showing up yet?

jcwrites said...

When he finds a glass slipper resting on the chest of a homicide victim, ace detective Zack Martinez knows two things; he's never been much into fairy tales, and the slipper doesn't fit his foot anyway.

JRMosher said...

Guess-the-Plot submission for Covert Cinderella:

The plan was simple: steal an invitation to the ball, gear up with clothing, weapons and a vehicle from tech division's "fairy godmother", and protect the prince from a pair of ruthless assassins known only as "the ugly stepsisters." But nothing is what it seems and by midnight Ella finds herself fleeing from the assassins and from the prince, leaving behind a key piece of gear that could lead all of them right to her door.