Feedback Request

 The author of the book featured most recently here would like feedback on the following version of the query.

Public defender Shukari does a lot between [has many responsibilities, from] hunting plant-monsters and [to] investigating dark magic in eco-cities. It’s tough, but she believes everyone deserves safety and justice. Now, if only she could find a cure for a spell that has trapped numerous civilians in their own, fossilizing bodies, her parents included. Without a cure, death is certain. And though her leads keep hitting dead ends, Shukari refuses to give up.

So when she finally tracks [down] a [the] culprit, she’s overjoyed. Her target? Crime lord Tyris, notorious for his lethal magic weapons, including a [the] prototype behind her loved ones' condition. The [Her] plan[:] becomes strike key operations until his little kingdom collapses. Maybe then he'll talk cures. But Shukari soon crashes into a major hurdle: Tyris shook a lot of hands. Partners cover his tracks, traitors look the other way, and his empire fights back. As losses pile [up] and time runs short, Shukari makes a desperate play.

She steals the prototype. Pity it, too, [Sadly, it] doesn’t have the answer she seeks. The sensible thing, then, would be to destroy it before Tyris can make final versions. Instead, she plans [offers] a trade he can’t resist: give her a cure and he gets his weapon back. Neither side plans on giving the other what they want, so it’s down to who can trick whom. But [And] if Shukari can’t outwit a [the] master dealmaker, she’ll be handing over [saving] the lives of countless people.  

Notes

I think this is what you're after. Good luck.