"Bullshit," snapped Billie Massey, giving her friend Geraldine a prod with her elbow. "She most certainly does not look nearly as lovely as she did when she was alive. She looks like hell and you know it."
"Watch your mouth, Billie, someone might hear you." Geraldine cringed and glanced nervously around. She spoke with the soft southern accent of someone who'd been raised in Georgia, but hadn't gone back since the day she left home. "It wouldn't be seemly to be caught speaking ill of the dead."
"I'm not speaking ill of the dead. I'm speaking ill of the cretins that dare to call themselves funeral directors." She tapped a finger on the closed half of the casket. "She looks like she's been stuffed with straw, and I don't think she even has a skirt on!"
As they spoke, the third member of their party, Ruby Sinclair, joined them. She looked distinctly disgruntled. "There isn't any toilet paper left in the bathroom. I had to use the tube."
Billie scoffed. "They ran out after they stuffed it all in Audrey's bra."
"You use the tube?" Geraldine made a face, then turned to Billie and said, "I'm sure she has all her clothes on. You're just upset, honey, that's natural."
Billie tapped her finger on the lower half of the casket again and then whipped around, slid all ten fingers under the lid and lifted it just a fraction.
Geraldine's hands flew to her mouth in horror. "Honey, don't--"
Billie let the lid fall with a snap. "No skirt."
"But why would they . . . ?" Geraldine swallowed hard.
As she spoke, the funeral director appeared behind them, smiling brightly and holding up a roll of colored fabric. "I hear the toilet paper in Ladies is running short again. Make do and mend in an emergency I always say. Ah, look at your friend, isn't she a vision? You can hardly tell I had to use red magic marker instead of lipstick. And her false eyelashes turned out fine. You don't want to know where I got the extra hair. And guess what I stuffed her . . . "'
Opening: Anonymous.....Continuation: McKoala