Friday, March 07, 2008
Guess the Plot
1. Hunky fireman Jett Avery has been depressed ever since the fire that killed his best friend. But when he meets Nurse Roxanne he ignites a flaming inferno deep within her, and discovers that playing with fire can be fun.
2. It's business as usual at the Haight-Ashbury Free Clinic for Dr. Percival Green-- the arrival of yet another new venereal disease, the Love Inferno. Can the good Dr. find love without flames? Also, a horny panda.
3. Porn stars Viv Lickum and Gary Coonch are shoe-ins to win the year's Best Love Scene Award, until they learn of a young couple who are burning up the cameras. Can Viv and Gary turn the heat even higher in their new movie Love Inferno, or will they have to kill the competition?
4. When the New York Vampire Clan - Big Apple Blood Suckers - hold their spring social, Scarlet Emmenecker learns more than the tango, samba and electric slide. Her hunky dance teacher introduces her to the latest craze - the Love Inferno - and she, in turn, drains his blood.
5. An elite society of Dante fanciers hears that one of their own has been murdered. They promptly agree that it's none of their affair. Unfortunately the murdered member's spirit begins attending meetings and informing them of points of agreement between Dante's Hell and his. He can't rest until they publish a new translation of 'Inferno' with his notes. But is the world ready for an explicit, sexy romp through Hell?
6. There's a new gentlemen's club in LA: the Love Inferno, with the usual exotic dancers and overpriced drinks. It also has a VIP Room, where customers seem to vanish, only to reappear later, weak and disheveled. Just what does lurk behind the velvet rope?
Dear Ms. Agent,
I watch your blog with interest and have queried you in the past. I would like to submit my newest romance novel, currently untitled, [Untitled? Sending a query for an untitled book to an agent is bad enough, but sending one to Evil Editor is worse. Have you noticed that the other 498 Face-Lifts on this blog start with Guess the Plot? Lucky for you EE was able to come up with the perfect title for your book.] complete at approximately 55K.
After suffering the devastating loss of his best friend's death in a recent warehouse fire, fireman Jett Avery has been haunted by flashbacks of that fateful night. Using sex as a balm to bury his pain and grief, his own brand of psycho-therapy helps to keep the agonizing images at bay for a while, but the flashbacks begin to incapacitate Jett with sleep disturbances, anxiety, and depression. [Then he sees an ad for Viagra and realizes he can continue his psycho-therapy indefinitely, depression or not.] Driven by a need to cure his PTSD, he's in search of the one woman whose touch can douse the flames of his own personal hell, [Aquawoman.] without strings or commitment. [He wants a relationship without commitment? It sounded like he already had that. Who's he been having sex with, the other firemen?]
With her thirtyith [Did you run spellcheck?] birthday imminent, Roxanne Carter is more than ready to settle down. She dreams of a family of her own, complete with white picket fence, 2.2 children, and a dog. [Spoiler alert: she gets the fence and dog but has to settle for 1.75 children.]As the big Three-0 approaches, [No need to open one sentence "With her thirtieth birthday imminent," and another sentence "As the big Three-0 approaches." Lop one of them off (preferably the one with "thirtyith").] she's doubled her efforts on the single scene to find the perfect man. Speed dating, double dating, blind dating, and internet dating have proved fruitless, leaving her [with no choice but to rear-end guys' cars and then ask them out.] [Hey, it would work on me.] stuck in a kind of dating purgatory made worse after Jett Avery tries to pick her up in a bar. As an emergency room nurse, she thought she could handle any catastrophe to come her way. But suddenly, the hot fireman with sinful abs and crystal grey eyes is everywhere, extinguishing her attempts to find the perfect match. [Not sure I'd compare this situation to an emergency room "catastrophe."]
Roxanne tries to resist the flaming inferno bad boy Jett ignites deep within her, knowing he's definitely not husband material. For Jett, playing with fire has never been so much fun, and soon, he discovers he's caught in another blaze beyond his control.
I'm a member of RWA, I recently contracted with The Wild Rose Press, selling my first book, XXX. [Is that the title or the rating?] I'm an intensive care nurse currently residing in Arizona, and draw a lot of my ideas for my books from my work [and my bar-hopping]. I appreciate your time and look forward to sending my manuscript for your review.
Here's how it looks: Jett is picking up women in bars and sleeping with them because of his flashbacks, but it isn't satisfying and he wants to find Ms. Right. His solution: pick up another woman in a bar. If he doesn't want a committed relationship, what exactly does he want from Roxanne that he wasn't already getting? And if he does want a committed relationship, why is he picking up a woman in a bar? (Not that you can't find Ms. Right in a bar, but where's he been finding his Ms. Wrongs?)
Also, saying he's "everywhere, extinguishing her attempts to find the perfect match" makes him sound like a stalker. Is he following her around?
She's doubled her efforts to find a guy, yet she's still in dating purgatory . . . yet a hunky guy who's attracted to her is unappealing? Assuming she went into the bar hoping to find someone who might conceivably be husband material, what was wrong with Jett? I think it needs to be more clear on why he thinks she's the solution to his problems, and why she thinks he isn't her solution.
Other possible titles: Flames of Passion, Burning Desire, and My Loins are on Fire, and You'll Do.