Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Guess the Plot
The Last Resort
1. The all-inclusive island vacation destination of La Boraca is normally a peaceful, family-friendly place. But now, people are dying. Can security chief Hector Vargos figure out the connection between the bodies and find the killer before this becomes his last resort?
2. Somebody with a grudge is blowing up all the resorts in Orlando. Damian and Marie McVellyan have their fingers crossed, hoping that these environmental terrorists will ignore the Motel 6 they manage, and it'll eventually be . . . The Last Resort.
3. Her post-divorce party is going to be huge, if Lola can find a Las Vegas hotel room during the hardware show. She settles for The Last Resort on the edge of town, but when her guests start disappearing, Lola must play detective. Is there a murderer on the loose, or is it just that Lola's parties are deadly boring?
4. They've been driving along the desert freeway for what seems like forever. Up ahead, they spot a glorious fantastical image: a huge castle complex. They're exhausted. But if they stop, will they ever be able to escape . . . the Last Resort?
5. CarePark Nursing Home is the "Last Resort" most of its residents will ever visit. But Goldie Goldberg, a quadriplegic former prostitute, isn't going gently into that good night. She gives her doctor, Julie Sternberg, an education in life--along with a few dating tips.
6. After a century of out-of-control Global Warming, four holy men each recieve a prophecy that leads them to the last remaining ski resort - on the top of Mt. Everest. There they find an unininvited guest - orphaned 14 yr. old Sean. Can he hitch a ride on their latter-day Noah's Ark?
Dear Evil Editor,
I’m writing to you with regard to my recently completed novel, The Last Resort, a 67,000-word fictional memoir.
Dr. Julie Sternberg is excited to begin her helping career counseling the elderly and infirm of CarePark Nursing Home. [Three hours later she's seriously considering quitting and taking a job as a cafeteria server.] She quickly discovers that infirm hardly describes the strong-willed quadriplegic former prostitute she is charged with “fixing” by the hardnosed administrator. Goldie Goldberg, along with her young peers, challenges Dr. Sternberg’s blithe assumption of health and wellbeing and puts her dating problems into perspective. [Is Goldie the ex-prostitute or the administrator? I assume she's the ex-prostitute just from the name, but who, in a nursing home, is likely to have young peers? A patient or an administrator?] As CarePark’s elderly reminiscence about their regrets and successes, Dr. Sternberg receives an education in how to live that surpasses any knowledge she picked up in grad school. [I once stared at my hand for five minutes and gained knowledge that surpassed what I picked up in grad school.] Caught up in her patients’ dramas, she finds herself at odds with the powerful administrator and struggling with an ethical dilemma that threatens her job and her faith in the health care system.
The Last Resort reveals a surprisingly funny world [Call it what it is--a laugh-a-minute, side-splitting romp through the boffo world of eldercare.] based on my early experience as a psychologist in nursing homes. Now with over twelve years in long-term care, I contribute scholarly articles to trade publications, conduct workshops, and lecture in my field. [Anything to keep me out of the actual nursing homes.] I’m an active member of two writers groups and have been published in an on-line magazine.
I would be pleased to send you my manuscript at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
You need to spend more time on the main plot, which I assume is: she finds herself at odds with the powerful administrator and struggling with an ethical dilemma that threatens her job and her faith in the health care system. Her patients' dramas and her miserable love life can be mentioned, but there's more here than a series of vignettes, right? There's the conflict between the naive grad who discovers that old people are still alive, and the administrator who insists that they aren't. Focus the query on that.
Give us the name of the administrator. Unless it's Goldie Goldberg, in which case change the name of the administrator.