Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Guess the Plot
The Pearl Keeper
1. Of all the elves who tried the patience of Lady Willifrill, the pesky thieving Pearl Keeper was her least favorite, but her views change when her son James brings his witchy girlfriend round. The evil wench must be disposed of, pronto, and how better to do it, than by making a pact with the elves?
2. Fern, Jasmine, and Daisy find the buried treasure map of little known Caribbean pirate Red Boots at a garage sale and go to Bermuda in search of his buried 'pearl keeper', never suspecting the map is a fake -- created for a reality TV show that got canceled because the top five contestants all vanished when they reached the X spot.
3. A pale green pearl and the words “When you are seventeen, all will unfold,” are all Amelia Salasquez has of her mother. Now fifteen, starving, cold, Amelia struggles to stay alive until seventeen and wonders how much she could get for the pearl. Enter, a boy with talking oysters...
4. As lamps are to genies, so is the pearl to a dragon. An evil alliance plans to use the pearl to enslave dragons and take over the world. Only one person has what it takes to lead the mages into battle against the alliance: a girl named Misha. Obviously we're doomed.
5. Senioc sings with the whales as he protects the oyster beds from the encroaching humans. When he accidentally saves Kanya, a pearl diver, he loses his voice. Is inter-species love worth his dream of becoming a diva?
6. Nissy is the mermaid in charge of keeping Neptune's oysters happily making fine pearls. When young Danny Banks dives too near the pearls, she stops him before Neptune can order him killed. Can she get him home without arousing the King's suspicions? Also, a rasta dolphin.
Dear Evil Editor,
I'm seeking representation for The Pearl Keeper, set in a world where humans invented technology to compete with the more magically-savvy races and the great dragons aren't so great after all.
When sixteen-year-old Misha rescues an ungrateful drunk from an oncoming subway train, she never expected a boy would sacrifice his life to save her instead. [Instead of what? She did rescue the drunk, right?] Nor did she expect him to turn into water. [When someone turns into water, is it really necessary to state that this was unexpected?]
Her savior, Skyler, is a dragon. [He was a dragon; now he's a puddle.] Contrary to popular belief, dragons aren't big, stupid monsters that eat feather-brained virgins and get skewered by knights. They're a brilliant, ruthless race whose human forms are deceivingly mouthwatering. [Tasty.] [What's the deceiving part? Either their human forms are mouthwatering, or they aren't.] [I'd go with "dazzling" or "radiant" instead of mouthwatering.] They just have one weakness: the pearl. As the lamp is to a genie, the pearl is a literal ball and chain for a dragon. [I'm not sure you've grasped the meaning of "literal." Just say ...the pearl is to a dragon.] An evil alliance known as Pandora plans to enslave the dragon race for world domination and [all they need is a few thousand pearls the size of bulldozers.] according to some silly, old prophecy, only Misha can stop it.
Thanks, but no thanks. [Hey, that's my line.] There's no way she can lead a band of mighty mages to battle and she'd rather not have Skyler's fate--or the world's--rest in her shaky hands. [How does she know she's the person in the prophecy?] That is, until she finds out Pandora murdered her mother ten years ago and she's next. [They should have murdered her mother twenty years ago and saved themselves a lot of trouble.]
Now it's personal.
The Pearl Keeper is a YA urban fantasy complete at 90,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
What does this prophecy say? A band of mages will agree to be led into battle by a sixteen-year-old girl named Misha . . . no, not that Misha, the one who had the subway incident?
Does every dragon have a pearl, or is there one pearl that's the weakness of all dragons? Does Pandora already have the pearl(s) or are they searching? Does Misha have it? Why does Pandora want to kill Misha now, when they didn't want to ten years ago? Why don't they just swoop in, kill her, and take the pearl? Are the mages protecting her? We need to know at least some of these things.
All we know about dragons is that they're brilliant and ruthless and look like filet mignon when they're in human form. What are the powers they have that would carry Pandora to world domination?