Thursday, May 08, 2008
Guess the Plot
1. Shanna Grier was killed in an alley. Now she seeks justice for her killer, but can she manage it in her new incarnation as the killer's shadow?
2. Overcrowding in the city of P'ertad is causing developers to build taller and taller buildings. But in the world of Talkinnon, demons can rise from Hell through shadows that linger in one place too long. One young mage thinks he has a solution: giant mirrors. But will the vampire king allow it?
3. In the ultra-competitive world of professional shadow puppetry, Lance Darkly was the best. But when a new player comes to town, boasting impossibly complex shadow puppets, Darkly must decide--how far will he go to defend his title?
4. Insubstantial. Hidden. Destroyed by direct light. It's not easy being a shadow. But when Bronwen and Clive bump into each other on the street and accidentally exchange shadows, it gets a whole lot harder. Disoriented and picking up bits of each-other's personalities, they must reverse the exchange before their shadows take on lives of their own.
5. When shadows unionize and go on strike, the total lack of shade leads to a massive global warming disaster. The planet seems doomed -- until scab clouds show up and save the day.
6. Jon was transformed into ghost ninety years ago, but he's hung around Earth performing secret missions in his shadow existence. When a chance to become a human again arises, he is thrilled--until he realizes his ghostness is needed to end a dispute.
Dear Super Agent,
Jonathan Clarke has everything a seventeen-year-old boy could want—except for a beating heart.
Transformed against his will, Jon has endured ninety years on Earth as a ghost, performing secret missions, advancing his magical skills, and staying close to the human side of things. When he meets Annie and discovers she can touch him, his dull existence [If I had magical powers and went on secret missions I wouldn't consider my existence dull.] is turned upside down. Annie has the power to change him back into a human, something Jon desperately wants.
His transformation is put on hold when a centuries-old rebellion escalates [A centuries-old rebellion? Listen, if you've been rebelling for centuries and you've gotten nowhere, it's time to give up and pay the tax or whatever. Also, if you're in charge and some entity rebels against you, and you're incapable of quashing the rebellion over a period of centuries, your military forces suck. Boxer Rebellion: over in two years. Whisky Rebellion: three. American Civil War: four. And your rebellion's been going on for centuries? And now it's escalating?!
Rebel 1: We've been rebelling for three and a half centuries. I think it's time.
Rebel 2: Time to give up?
Rebel 1: Time for a troop surge.]
and Jon's ghostly powers are needed to stop it. [Why didn't he use his ghostly powers to stop it 90 years ago? Do other ghosts have the same powers? What can a ghost do that a wizard can't?] He's recruited by both sides; [Why have they waited ninety years to recruit him?] Annie wavers in her decision to help him, and his closest friends may be his biggest enemies. If Jon can't find a way to overcome the dissenters, [Who are the dissenters?] he may never become human—because he won't exist at all. [Why won't he exist? What are his ghostly powers? Who's dissenting about what? Who are his closest friends? Give us some specific information instead of hinting at this and that.]
Be prepared to think of ghosts in a completely new way [As wizards.] in SHADOWS, a young adult urban fantasy novel, complete at 100,000 words.
If you would like to consider SHADOWS, I'd be happy to forward the manuscript to you.
It's not clear what is meant by Jon has everything a 17-yr.-old boy could want. Like what? What's he got?
For whom has Jon been performing secret missions? One of the two sides in the rebellion fiasco?
It feels like you're trying for a hook with every sentence instead of telling us a story.