Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Sometimes it takes weeks for someone to come up with a good continuation. That means some poor schmuck has to wait weeks for comments about his opening. Thus I'm compiling a short list of amusing All-Purpose Continuations that work with any opening. An opening comes in, we slap on one of the APCs, and voila! No month-long wait for the writer to get feedback.
Below are a few examples. You guys can come up with a few more so there'll be a little variety, and then we'll start the new system.
Suddenly Evil Editor burst through the door and used his laser vision to incinerate everyone in the room. Then he looked into the camera and said, "I had to do it. The writer's reputation and the readers' digestive systems were at stake."
* * *
"Cut!" The director threw down his script as the actors turned to look at him. "Sorry, folks," he said. "My career may be in the tank ever since my last three films bombed, and I may never work in this town again, but even I have more self-respect than to direct this preposterous piece of tripe."
* * *
"See what I mean?" Doctor Abernethy said.
"Incredible," Doctor Levine replied. "And they actually believe this illusion is real?"
"100% real. They have no idea they've been characters in a virtual reality experiment for six years, despite the fact that nothing remotely reasonable ever happens."
"Let's continue the experiment another ten years. If there are no complications we'll incorporate it into the prisons and high schools."