Face-Lift 91

Guess the Plot

Soulbound

1. Two escaped convicts, handcuffed together, die when Aretha Franklin falls through the stage they were hiding under, crushing them.

2. After 40 years of grits and gravy, Hank's doctor warned him his near-terminal constipation could be cured only by a diet of spa cuisine. Can he learn to love celery? Or is he . . . Soulbound?

3. Aspiring blues singer Blind Lemon Morton comes into possession of basketball sneakers that enhance the wearer's leaping ability.

4. Corrig Ironshield sold half of his soul to a demon. Now whenever he sleeps, his soul goes to hell for quality time with his better half.

5. When a promising-but-sinful young novelist dies in a tragic, grief-induced auto-erotic asphyxiation accident, he learns, too late, that his own personal version of hell is to spend eternity as the subject of his recently-mourned female editor's kinky sadomasochistic sex fantasies.

6. Each time the train stops, a new passenger boards and asks Lana about her past. As she recounts significant episodes from her life, she wonders whether the train is bound for heaven or hell.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

What would you do if your family was murdered by an evil wizard? [Evil Editor would sell 49% of his soul to a demon for the power to avenge them.] If you were Corrig Ironshield, you'd sell half your soul to a demon for the power to avenge them. [Half? Corrig should have consulted Evil Editor. This is not going to go well.]

Becoming Soulbound isn't all its cracked up to be. Sure, you can eat magic [explain] and fight a werewolf with your bare hands, but whenever you sleep, your soul goes to hell for quality time with your better half. [Why is his better half in hell?] Oh, and did the demon mention that after a meager century you burn in hell forever, vengeance attained or no? [I don't think so . . . unless it came up while I was distracted by the naked woman juggling flaming clarinets.]

In pursuit of his nemesis, Corrig rescues Wick, an innocent boy, from a town bully. This leads him down the trail of an alleged werewolf with the help of Lieutenant Denl, a compassionate guardsman, and Ithra, a fearless innkeeper's daughter. Destroying the werewolf's [Alleged werewolf] magic puts Corrig to sleep.

While he is helpless and tormented, Yros, the werewolf's [Alleged werewolf!] wizard master, captures and imprisons Corrig and Ithra. Aided by an angel's blessing, Wick and Denl mount a rescue mission. In the process, Ithra and Wick discover and come to terms with Corrig's demonic nature and sorrowful past. Yros plans to use Ithra's soul to obtain immortality.

Ultimately, Corrig is forced to either murder Ithra, which will save her soul, or kill Yros. He chooses to kill the wizard, but as a consequence Ithra becomes Soulbound as well. [Something tells me Ithra's going to have issues with Corrig, especially in 100 years.] This sets the stage for book two. [I call it Soulbound 2: The Soulbound Two]

Soulbound is the first of three novels that follow Corrig and Ithra in their pursuit of revenge, solace and redemption. I believe that these themes are highly relevant due to America's grief, anger and pursuit of revenge for the 9/11 attacks. [Yikes. If every author whose book involved grief or revenge or anger played the 9/11 card . . . Chances are your letter is going to New York City, and to someone who was there that day. Do they want you telling them your book is relevant because of 9/11? Your book about werewolves and wizards? Even if you intended this as an allegory for the war on terror, let the editor figure it out.] The issues are handled compassionately and are carefully woven into the action of the story. I have included a SASE for reply purposes only. This is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


Revised Version

Dear Evil Editor,

What would you do if your family were murdered by an evil wizard? If you're Corrig Ironshield, you sell your soul to a demon for the power to avenge them.

Becoming Soulbound isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, you have magical powers and the strength of many men, but whenever you sleep, your soul resides in hell. Oh, and did the demon mention that after a mere century you burn in hell forever, vengeance attained or no?

In pursuit of his nemesis, the wizard Yros, Corrig is joined by Ithra, a fearless innkeeper's daughter. When Yros captures Ithra, planning to use her soul to obtain immortality, Corrig is forced to choose: either kill Ithra, saving her soul, or kill Yros, leaving Ithra Soulbound like himself.

In the end, Corrig kills Yros. This sets the stage for book two in a trilogy that follows Corrig and Ithra in their pursuit of revenge, solace and redemption. I have included a SASE for reply purposes. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Notes

Evil Editor has made what may be slight changes in the plot. Don't worry, by the time the editor gets your manuscript he'll have forgotten these minor points. Though he may wonder where the werewolf came from.