Face-Lift 74

Guess the Plot

Murder 101: Introduction to Death

1. Belinda wants to take “Murder 345: Icepicks”, but she’s missing a prerequisite. Will they waive it if she kills the Albanian groutman who’s been servicing her?

2. A college psychology professor attempts to keep the evil side of his dual personality a secret from his students, but when he morphs into a panther during his lecture on sexual fantasies, the cat's out of the bag.

3. Twins Lottie and Trudy were working together to solve a murder at Florida State--until friction developed when they both fell for hunky homicide detective Mark Hardigan.

4. A handicapped professor of religious studies at Notre Dame plots the murder of a student he believes to be the Antichrist.

5. When pretty girls start dying in ways similar to the characters in novels they're reading in Literary Theory class, Kansas State freshman Cassie Wilson starts to wonder about her TA.

6. Aaron Acker never expected his humorous novel to be a bestseller, and he REALLY didn't expect crowds of shady crims to show up at his doorstep, wanting his autograph, tips--and quite possibly his life.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

When Claire Daley, a visiting alumna, is thrown off a balcony at Florida State University, [Those FSU football players--always up to their high jinks.] professor Lottie Naylor knows she shouldn’t get involved. After all, the dean’s fed up with her constant distractions, and she’s got enough trouble just keeping herself off the unemployment line. But a student, Patrice, is accused of the murder, and she believes Lottie’s famous intuition can solve the case. [Her intuition is so famous, they're making a TV series about all the cases Lottie solves. At the end of each episode she calls all the suspects into her living room, serves them cookies, and then says, "You did it, Jane Marstairs!" Jane breaks into sobbing and confesses. Then the cops ask Lottie how she knew, and Lottie says, "I just had a feeling."] ["I just had a feeling" is her catch phrase. The show will be titled, Murder, She Surmised.]

With the help of her spiky-haired twin, Trudy (who won’t take “butt out” for an answer), Lottie digs into the lives of her friends and colleagues: [Shouldn't she be digging into the lives of Claire Daley's friends and colleagues, instead of her own?] lecherous professor Huck Patterson; [A lecherous professor named Huck? Wonder what the women call him.] [Huck didn't do it; too obvious. He's the one we're supposed to think did it.] image-obsessed Dean Charles Whitney; [He didn't do it; he's needed as the foil in the sequel.] sad-eyed security guard Carlos Ortega; [No motive. Plus, if you make the Latino guy guilty, your house will be picketed, and you'll need to find a new lawn guy.] and Daryl Crain, creepy student and perennial loser at love. [He did it. He's been harboring a grudge against Claire since he was ten years old, and she refused to let him go near her daughter.] [Oops, I should have given a spoiler alert. Oh well, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe football coach Bobby Bowden did it, because Claire had the goods on his twenty years of recruiting violations.] Working together begins to heal a rift between the twins, but that changes when they set their sights on the same man: homicide detective Mark Hardigan. [If you're going to make "hard" part of the guy's name, you may as well go all the way: Mark Hardcock.] Tension rises as Lottie tries to pin down both the murderer and Hardigan’s heart.

Before she knows it, Lottie’s in deep [I think you mean Hardcock's in deep.] -- pursued by the killer, battling her twin, and drawn into a web of lies ten years old. When she uncovers a decade-old murder made to look like a suicide, she realizes Claire was killed as revenge for that death. But did Claire’s murderer hit the right target? Or is there still another killer on the loose? [No wonder Lottie is famous for her intuition, if she correctly guesses that Claire was killed as revenge for a 10-year-old murder she didn't even commit.]

Murder 101: Introduction to Death is a cozy mystery of 65,000 words with series potential. [Are there really enough murders at Florida State to sustain a series?] [Do Lottie and Trudy fight over a different detective each book? Wait, Lottie wins Hardigan's heart in book 1, but in book 2, Trudy pretends to be Lottie and seduces Hardigan! Yes, I know it's been done to death, but has it ever been done with zombies?] I have enclosed the first five pages. May I send you a partial or full manuscript? Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Revised Version

Dear Evil Editor,

When Claire Daley, a visiting alumna, is thrown off a balcony at Florida State University, the chief suspect is Patrice Cleanhands, a student in Professor Lottie Naylor's Psych 151 class. Patrice needs help, and she believes Lottie’s famous intuition can solve the case.

With the aid of her spiky-haired twin, Trudy (who won’t take “butt out” for an answer), Lottie digs into the crime, unearthing several suspects: lecherous professor Huck Patterson; image-obsessed dean Charles Whitney; sad-eyed security guard Carlos Ortega; and Daryl Crain, creepy student and perennial loser at love.

Working together begins to heal a rift between Lottie and Trudy, but that changes when they set their sights on the same man: homicide detective Mark Hardigan. Tension rises as Lottie tries to pin down both the murderer and Hardigan’s heart.

Before she knows it, Lottie is drawn into a web of lies ten years old. When she discovers a decade-old suicide was actually murder, she realizes Claire's death was a revenge killing. But did Claire’s murderer hit the right target? Or are there now two killers on the loose?

Murder 101: Introduction to Death is a 65,000-word cozy mystery with series potential. I have enclosed the first five pages. May I send you a partial or full manuscript? Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Notes

It seems unlikely a visiting alumna would be wanted dead by the dean, a security guard, a professor, and two students. Well-done if you managed to give all of them believable motives.