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Guess the Plot

The Dragon and the Butterfly

1. Tale of an evil empress and the sheltered backwoods girl who tries to "clip her wings."

2. A hardheaded society matron's life is transformed by her new hairdresser's serendipitous advice.

3. An envious young dragon with small wings stalks a carefree butterfly, intent on learning her secret for such an impressive wingspan.

4. Crunch!

5. The story of hermaphrodite Giselle Jones: by day, an up-and-coming heavyweight kickboxer; by night, a world-renowned ballerina.

6. A former heroin addict inherits a tattoo parlor and a Cambodian love slave named Jade from a long lost uncle.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

There are three things to know about Vranion, the imperial capital:

1) Don't go out after dark. Either the soldiers will execute you for breaking curfew, or the things that inspired the curfew will do something worse. [Vague. Intentionally vague, perhaps, but don't make it sound so vague by saying "things" will do "something."]

2) The underlife are strictly professional: name your job, they'll name the price. Don't try to ask the authorities to stop them. [If I've named my job, and they've named their price, why would I ask anyone to stop them? A deal's a deal.] They hire underlife too; it's the best way around all those pesky laws.

3) The empress doesn't have a sense of humor. Don't ask about the missing nobles, don't ask about her flock of dazed followers, and whatever you do, don't ask about that strange cavern recently discovered beneath her palace. [Suddenly Evil Editor feels an overwhelming compulsion to ask about all three of these things, and especially the cavern.]

When Nianne's noble fiance goes missing everyone believes she has been jilted, but her nightmares tell a different story -- he's trapped, suffering, and calling out to her -- and she risks everything to travel to the capital of the empire to look for him. [Didn't anyone tell her about 3-a: Don't ask about the missing nobles?]

Nianne is a sheltered backwoods girl, though, [How does a backwoods girl end up engaged to a noble? And why is she still living in the backwoods, if she's engaged to a noble?] and Vranion is corrupt, exotic, and deadly. She gets caught out after curfew, [Didn't anyone tell her about 1-a, The soldiers will execute you for breaking curfew?] captured by underlife, [2, or possibly 1-b.] lost in a strange cavern, [3-c.] [There are only three things to know about Vranion, and she can't remember any of them?] and involved in a plot to assassinate the empress. [Hmm. Apparently there's a fourth thing to know about Vranion: Don't assassinate the Empress.]

Then things start to get complicated.

THE DRAGON AND THE BUTTERFLY is a completed 120k word fantasy novel. May I send you more material for consideration?

Thank you,


Revised Version

Dear Evil Editor,

There are three things to know about Vranion, the Imperial Capital:

1) Don't go out after dark. Either the soldiers will execute you for breaking curfew . . . or you'll wish they had.

2) The underlife are strictly professional: name any job, they'll name the price. The authorities wouldn't stop them if they could; they hire underlife too. (It's the best way around all those pesky laws.)

3) The Empress has no tolerance for meddlers. Don't ask about the missing nobles, don't ask about her flock of dazed followers, and whatever you do, don't ask about the cavern beneath her palace.

When Nianne's noble fiancé Niandy goes missing, everyone believes she has been jilted. Her nightmares tell a different story, however: he's trapped, suffering, and calling to her.

Nianne sets out for the capital, willing to risk her life to rescue Niandy. But she is a sheltered backwoods girl, and Vranion is corrupt, exotic, and deadly. In over her head, Nianne gets caught out after curfew, captured by underlife, and involved in a plot to assassinate the Empress.

Then things really start to get complicated.

THE DRAGON AND THE BUTTERFLY is a completed 120k word fantasy novel. May I send you more material for consideration?

Thank you,