Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Guess the Plot
Lack of Control
1. When the president loses his remote somewhere in the White House, right before Desperate Housewives, a state of emergency is declared.
2. From A-list actor to couch-jumping, cult-spouting cartoon fodder in mere weeks, life couldn't get worse . . . until Tom learned the agony of incontinence.
3. Upon the death of his gay lover, alcoholic Air Force One pilot Mack Thompson relapses. Now he has two secrets - one dead, the other threatening the president's life.
4. Human #FGY-K7195 doesn't know that she is capable of ending the age of human subjugation created by the sentient machine Alpha System--yet.
5. Jenny’s diet is out of control--until a steamy new coach starts leading her waist-watchers group. Can she replace one craving with another?
6. Adventure on the high seas, with gay pirate lovers, Spanish gold, and the horrible consequences of colitis in close quarters.
Dear Evil Editor:
Lack of Control is a science-fiction novel about the life of human #FGY-K7195, a young girl enslaved by sentient machines. She doesn't know her parents, nor is she even permitted cognitive thought. It is only after she is rescued by a small team of insurgents that she even receives a proper name—Tensert Asil. [Well, it beats #FGY-K7195, but I'd hardly call it a proper name.] She doesn't yet know she is capable of ending the age of human subjugation created by the sentient machine Alpha System. [Wasn't this a Star Trek?]
After a botched mission to steal food from one of the factories, Tensert learns the fallen dynasty of her world had vowed to destroy Alpha System, and that she is the last in the bloodline. [Which means her parents are dead? Odd to have said, She doesn't know her parents, when you could have said, Her parents are both dead.] To fulfill this ancient promise, she must revive Ionos, the Chaos Warrior of a forgotten legend. [Right, the entire dynasty tried to destroy the thing, and they're all dead, but as soon as she wakes up Conan the Barbarian, problem solved.] However, the power of Ionos is sealed within the architecture of Alpha System itself—and Tensert must release it to save her world from Alpha System's warped sense of duty. [Typical teen, no appreciation for what her parental machine has done for her.]
Lack of Control, complete at 87,000 words and standing alone as a story, is the first installment in an epic storyline spanning multiple books. I have completed initial writings of the second and third books, and am currently revising them. The fourth is in outline form. [The fifth is currently a one-sentence log line, which I would be delighted to send along at your request. The sixth is currently nothing more than the first two words of a tentative title (The Last-). For the seventh book, I currently have the letter "r." For the eighth, I have the horizontal line that connects the two vertical lines in the letter "H." Book 9 will be a prequel, in which human #FGY-K7195 is born to human #FGY-T7166 shortly after her husband, human #KHX-Z3391 dies attempting to destroy Alpha System. I'm saving the prequel for last because it can be a bit tedious to read, what with each of the 120 characters being an alphanumeric text string.]
Thank you for considering this proposal. I would be happy to provide you with the complete manuscript and look forward to hearing from you soon.
This doesn't need much work. I wouldn't mention that you're revising books 2 and 3, as you'll surely be done with that task long before those books are requested. You might want to make it clear that Tensert plays a major role in destroying Alpha System. Right now one could get the impression Ionos does all the work, and Tensert just revives him. Surely there's more to the ending than a mystical legendary warrior taking on a sentient machine that could destroy him with one laser blast anytime it felt like it.