Thursday, March 01, 2007
Guess the Plot
1. Some people inherit lovely children and Italian villas, but not Omn Turner. All he gets from Mary after 20 years of devotion is 15 dollars, a deaf poodle, and six smelly overcoats.
2. A soldier and a dragonslayer embark upon an epic quest to locate "Omn's Tears," the key to preventing the power-hungry emperor from unleashing a disastrous magic that could unravel all of creation.
3. The other kids teased Omnipuplotto Smirnichovich every day of first grade and he cried so much it ruined his entire life. For second grade, his parents shorten his name to Omn Smir, but the damage is done. He goes on to become The Sobbing Serial Killer.
4. Omn is more than human: he is an immortal embodying the spirit of Yoga. Returning to mortal form in the year 2008, he weeps at the physical state of mankind's midriff and vows to bring Yoga to everyone who has reached the age of majority.
5. When Omn, the moon god, cries, his tears turn to silver-blue flowers called Omn's Tears. When Ro'od finds sixteen Omn's Tears in a perfect circle, she alone understands the omen. Can she find the newly born Chosen One before the evil sorcerer destroys him?
6. Dressmaker to the Queen, Omnibus Pajamay has everything she could wish for--until her tears are found to render fabric colorfast and shrink-proof. Now it's the rack for Omn--and not the one in the closet.
Attn. [Agent Name],
I read that you represent works of fantasy, among other genres. My novel, OMN'S TEARS, is a 114,000 word epic fantasy. The sequel, BIRTH OF DARKNESS, is nearing completion, and the third installment is in the planning stages. [The fourth book in the series is currently the gleam of an idea I had last week while bowling. Book five will be based on a dream that I can no longer remember. And the final installment will be written by my as-yet-unborn child.]
The Adiran Enforcers used to be an organization of justice and peace, but when Captain Ryon begins asking too many questions about his recent missions, his eyes are finally opened to the brutality of his fellow soldiers and superiors alike. [Apparently the questions he asked were, What was all that agonized screaming I heard coming from the brig last night? and How come when I came out of the bathroom this morning, everyone on this entire planet had been annihilated?] Now the very people who have long been his comrades-in-arms have become the enemy. [On the other hand, those who have long been his enemies are still his enemies.]
Kain never cared about another living soul in his life. But when the Enforcers hire him to track down the last remaining dragon in Adira, for the first time in his dragon-slaying career he finds himself at a dragon's mercy, bargaining for his life. Forced into helping this dragon track down the information she wants,
[Dragon: You killed my parents, my brothers and sister, and every other dragon in Adira. And you came here to kill me. Now burn!
Kain: Hey, wait a minute, I'll make a deal with you.
Dragon: What kind of deal?
Kain: You let me live, and I'll assist you in tracking down some information. Any information you want. I'm great at finding out stuff.
Dragon: Hmm, I'm dying to know who won the big jousting tournament.]
Kain finds himself in a web of trouble, the least of which is his captor. [A giant spider.] [If his captor is the least of his troubles, shouldn't you be telling us about the most?]
But when Ryon, Kain, and company [Ryon, Kain and company? Kain's working for the Enforcers, and the Enforcers are now Ryon's enemy. How are they in the same company? Why are they in the same company? Who else is in this company? The dragon?] meet an enchanting woman from a mythical realm, [If you're in a realm that has dragons, it takes a bit of nerve to refer to someone else's realm as mythical.] they finally discover the truth: [This makes it sound like they've been searching long and hard for this "truth." The truth about what? There's been no indication that they were after any truth.] the Emperor, in his lust for power, is on the verge of unleashing a disastrous magic that may unravel all of creation. The only way to save their world is to find the remnant power of the Creator, Himself: Omn's Tears. [Which is what? Jewels? An object? Does the enchanting woman tell them where to look? After they find it, do they have to throw it into Mount Doom?]
Most of my writing experience has been in the realm of scientific analysis and journals, due to my graduate student work in physics at University of California, Irvine, from which I currently hold a Master's Degree. This is my first novel.
I would be delighted to send you a full manuscript (or a partial and synopsis) for your consideration. Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you.
So, apparently Kain and Ryon are searching for answers to something, and having no luck. Out of nowhere an enchanting woman appears and fills them in. How convenient. Maybe she should go find the Tears of Omn, whatever they are.
Something's going on that leads Kain and Ryon to work together to try to get answers. Early signs of the unraveling of creation? We need to know what that is.
Amazing how much easier it is to accept a world in which there are dragons than a world in which there are dragons seeking information.