Wednesday, January 24, 2007

New Beginning 197

My real mom and dad died in a plane crash when I was six months old, and I was raised by a pack of Saturday morning cartoons. I guess if I’d listened to the Superfriends useful safety tips I wouldn’t be in this hospital bed, wondering if Kyle made it out of the bank too. But who listens to parents, right?

Stephanie the Pretty Nurse slipped into my room and closed the door. She stared at me for a moment, like she was trying to figure out something, then she rushed over and whispered in my ear. “Close your eyes and moan.”

Now, I may be pretty banged up, but I am fourteen. And things like that don’t happen to guys like me. I couldn’t stop my goofy grin. Stephanie squeezed my arm. “Do it.”

But the door opened again. This time it was the crabby nurse and a tall, skinny guy in a dark suit. “Good. You’re awake,” said Nurse Ogre. “This gentleman would like to ask you a few questions.”

Stephanie shot me an "I tried" look and hurried out.

The skinny guy sat down on the bed, opened his notebook and licked the end of a short, dirty pencil. "Okay, kid," he said. "What were you doing in the bank?"

What could I tell him? Kyle and I had planned a heist. Well, actually, Pinky and the Brain had planned it. Wile E. Coyote was the lookout and Roger Rabbit was in charge of the getaway car.

How were we to know to know Dick Tracy and Droopy would show up?

Opening: blogless_troll.....Continuation: Kate Thornton


Anonymous said...

Okay, now that is a fantastic beginning. I am dying to know more.

"(R)aised by a pack of Saturday morning cartoons" is awesome. So is pretty much everything else here.

Anonymous said...

"My real mom and dad died in a plane crash when I was six months old, and I was raised by a pack of Saturday morning cartoons."

One of the best opening sentences I seen on this blog.

I concur with whitemouse. This is great and I would read more. -V95

Anonymous said...

I love this, too. Good job, blogless troll!

shaded-lily said...

I agree with the above -- "raised by a pack of Saturday morning cartoons" is priceless! :D

Good beginning, good continuation.

Dave Fragments said...

I've read this a half dozen times and it works as an opening. My only concern seems to be that it doesn't hit the youngsters voice, that maybe it sounds a little too old.
And that may just be me.

Anonymous said...

It does sound a little old for a 14 year old, but I like it. I'm curious and want to read more.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it sounds too old for a 14-yr-old. When I was ten, my dad had split, and Mom had to work full-time in a factory. On weekends, she could never find a babysitter, so I watched my 8- and 6-yr-old sibs. This included cooking for them (nothing fabulous, just boxed macaroni & cheese, frozen pizzas, etc.). So by seventeen, I was working nights after school to pay for my own apartment. Force self-sufficiency on young children, and they do mature quickly.

I'd definitely read more.