Saturday, January 13, 2007
Guess the Plot
The Challenge of Luck
1. Lillianne Dillmouth has always been lucky, in love, in work, in health. But when zombies take over her small village and make a contest of choosing their next victim, she's hoping she loses.
2. The Jim Luck Club only had three members. The Jim Luck Band never got a contract. The Jim Luck Dog Trainer's School violated a noise ordinance and was closed by uniformed authorities. The Jim Luck Mercy Dinner couldn't afford the promised chicken and had to give full refunds to both customers. His latest challenge? Talk Betty Lou Baker into judging the Jim Luck Kissing Contest. Who's his antagonist? Honey, if you're Jim Luck, you don't need no antagonist.
3. A single pull of a one-armed bandit could mean the difference between a paper cup half full of nickles and a jackpot of more than $600. With a car repair bill in the balance, first-time gambler Penny Dredful goes for broke.
4. After proposing a fast game of Russian Roulette to her fiance, Bud Necket, Amy Higher gets cold feet. But it's too late to back out as the gallant Bud produces an automatic pistol and says, "Ladies first!"
5. Depressed at the deaths of her parents, Christine drops out of school and becomes a major player in the pantheon of gods: the god of luck. Will this sudden turn in her fortunes bring happiness or more sorrow?
6. Her initials were L.U.C. Raised in the backwoods of Kentucky, she was called "Luck" by her adoptive family. When her biological father dies, he leaves her his manor in England, and tonight she meets the Queen. Can Luck be a Lady tonight?
To whom it may concern
I am seeking endorsement for my novel, working title The Challenge of Luck. [Ultimately, you're seeking fame and/or fortune. Right now you're seeking publication or representation. Later in life, when you run for president, you'll seek endorsement.] The main character of this book is Christine, a young girl who within the last six months has lost both her parents. Christine becomes depressed and antisocial. Dropping out of school she spends more and more time in the wilderness of her aunts’ ranch. [Aren't there laws to prevent young girls from dropping out of school and living in the wilderness? What do her aunts think of this?]
One night as she is camping out in early summer she begins to rant. She screams to the night air, cursing everything that has put her in this position, including her bad luck. Surprisingly, the God of luck comes to answer. A contest ensues and Christine accidentally wins.
[God of Luck: You . . . you won! I've never lost at odds/evens.
Christine: Odds/evens? I thought we were playing rock/paper/scissors.]
Christina finds herself as the God of luck, one of the highest powers in the gods’ society. She soon finds that the loss of her title will mean death without an afterlife, complete oblivion. [Out of curiosity, what would have happened if Christin e/a had lost the contest? Because I'm not clear on why the God of luck found this contest worth competing in.
God of Luck: What's all this ranting in the wilderness?
Christine: I've had really bad luck lately.
God of Luck: Then I propose a contest. If I win, you quit your whining and let me get some shuteye.
Christine: And if I win?
God of Luck: If you win? Don't make me laugh. Okay, okay, if you win, you become a major god, and I die and get consigned to oblivion for eternity. Plus you get to change your name from Christine to Christina.]
With the help of the few gods that seem to be on her side, Time and Wind in particular, [You never want to get on the wrong side of the god of wind.] [By which I mean the downwind side.] she must learn the rules of this strange hierarchy. [What are the rules?] While at the same time she must overcome the challenges that face her, both on the Godly and the mortal plain. [What are the challenges?] In the end will she prove to be lucks true master or will she be unable to master this strange force?
The Challenge of Luck is the first book in the series. This is my first attempt at publication. Enclosed is a SASE. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. I would love to answer any questions you might have. Thank you for your time, I will be hoping to hear from you soon.
There's nothing wrong with a wrap-up paragraph, but that one has six sentences that say nothing. Even "first book in the series" isn't helpful unless you specify whether each book in the series will star a different god, or whether they'll all star Christina. A more informative and less boring wrap-up: The Challenge of Luck is a 40,000-word fantasy for young adults. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Does this god have a name? There are gods of luck in mythology, and they have names. Fortuna, Roman goddess of luck, for instance.
It sounds like the meat of the book is what happens after Chrissy becomes god of luck, but the query focuses on what happens before. Your "after" paragraph is too vague.
A few punctuation problems, and some awkward constructions that I'm sure you'll fix before you send this out.
The title is boring. Why, the five fake plots could be mined for catchier titles:
Luck, Be a Lady
Penny Dredful Goes for Broke
The Christina Luck Club