Friday, December 22, 2006


Zombies are a staple of Guess the Plots. But three of the following were real plots.

1. The popular girls of Metro Valley Day School will do anything to maintain a size 0, including becoming zombies.

2. Nobody ever said voodoo was easy. But when Vance raises a trio of zombies, he finds that undead underlings are more trouble than they're worth.

3. When a touristy dude ranch is built over a western graveyard, trouble pops up in the persons of Billy the Kid and Jesse James . . . zombiefied.

4. Veteran cop Angus Sweeney, killed in the line of duty, returns as a superhero zombie named Dead Sweeney, wreaking havoc on the criminal element of New York City.

5. When dancer Coco Osborne unexpectedly becomes a zombie, she's discouraged by her newfound stiffness. She invents a dance for zombies--the Shadow Walk--that takes the nation by storm. Will zombies finally be accepted?

6. Aboard the S.S. Anatali, a week before Academy finals, an artificial life form runs a gauntlet of student riots, corrupt cops, and zombies, trying to keep her roommate from being expelled.

7. On Troap island, Isa, only 14 years old, already practices traditional healing learned from her grandmother. But when Isa discovers she can heal the dead, her army of zombies turns the tropical paradise into a war zone.

8. No longer content to lie around listening to sirens, crying babies, and loud rap music, the residents of the Restful Acres cemetery Rise and Walk in the largest zombie protest march of all time.

9. Janice's novel seems to practically write itself. But the plot is worrisome, and her regency romance comes back time and time again to the flesh-eating zombies scene.

10. Jack knew he could get in trouble for emptying his bladder in a cemetery, but he never expected his urine to wake the dead.

11. The devout are confused with the undead, as zombies bent on world domination rise up at the same time as The Rapture. Will anyone get out alive?

12. A new dance craze hits the tiny Carribean town of Port Au Feu. But tourist Staci Mesa discovers that it's an invitation to death when she meets a handsome zombie in the hotel bar.

13. Shipwrecked in the desert, Paula is befriended by an unusually intelligent camel who guides her to a land swarming with zombies.

14. Jazz singer Carrie Bravo has finally gotten her big break: a gig at one of New York's most famous venues. But when marauding zombies attack during her set, will her need to perform outweigh her pacifist principles?

15. Deep in the Yukon, part-time prospector Dave Mercey strikes what he thinks is the motherlode. But when the men working the mine start turning into flesh-eating zombies he realizes that some things are better left underground.

16. A pharmaceutical genius tries to turn millions of men with hair loss problems into zombies with his brain-sucking Rogaine shampoo.

17. In a world of witchcraft, zombies, and therapy clinics run by soul-sucking creatures, a psychic therapist's life is in the hands of three demons named Malleus, Maleficarum, and Spud.

18. Sophronia Ilkes does NOT want to be known as the Virgin Zombie. But all the zombie males have lost the urge, and most even the equipment. Is Ronie brazen enough to entice a living man to devirginate her? More to the point, is she fresh enough?

19. Scientists Jack and Imelda Ituri drill through the Antarctic ice cap -- straight into a pocket of Mesozoic soil. Ancient spores sprout in the lab, producing gigantic parasititic brain-sucking amoebas. They'll quickly destroy humanity if 14 year old Jamelda Ituri can't kill her parisitized Zombie-ized parents before they escape to Australia.

20. A movie crew accidentally bulldozes sacred Indian burial grounds and unearths some seriously pissed-off zombies, who demand ancillary rights and a share of the gross.

Answers below:

Real plots: 6, 13, 17


Anonymous said...

Gotta love the zombies.

Anonymous said...

#4 would make a great novel. -JTC

writtenwyrdd said...

#18. Ew. Although it might make a Sean of the Dead sort of amusing movie, if done right... No, I take it back. Ew.