Saturday, December 16, 2006
New Beginning 175
At the annual charity ball for our nonprofit radio station, I sat with my news partner Michelle and her husband. Michelle is a thirtysomething career girl who drives a powder-blue BMW and spends several evenings a week questing for the perfect tropical drink. It surprised us all to learn that her husband is a home repairman.
"How interesting," said Anne, who broadcasts the celebrity and fashion program. "How did you meet?"
"Oh my god," giggled Michelle. There is laughter in everything she says. "Should I tell it? I'll tell it from my perspective, okay?"
"You can tell it," said her husband, with good-natured complacency.
"Well." Michelle positioned herself as if she was preparing to deliver an exceptional piece of gossip: hands up, ready to emphasize anything she said. Her eyes were bright with the thrill of telling a good story.
“I was in my apartment. I’d just put on a Herb Alpert LP and was cleaning along to the music -- you know, duster-cizing -- when the doorbell rang. I opened the door, and there was Dirk, come to fix my washing machine. Well, he looked like a young Tom Selleck, standing there with his rugged features and his cute moustache.” Anne looked at me and rolled her eyes, but Michelle just continued. “So, he came in and dismantled the washer -- I tell you, kneeling there he had the cutest butt I’d ever seen. Before I knew it, he had it all fixed and back together.
“‘Anything else I can do for you, Ma’am?’ he said. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘I do have a pipe that needs unblocking.’ So he said, ‘I’m going to need the long rod for that one,’ and gave me one of those French looks; you know, double entendre. Well, next thing I knew I was bent over the Maytag on spin cycle. And we’ve been together ever since.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Anne sniped, giving me a side-long glance. “You guys actually met in a bad seventies porn movie?”
Michelle gave Anne her bitchiest glare ever. “And how else do you think I could afford a powder-blue BMW?”
Opening: Detritus.....Continuation: ril