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Guess the Plot

The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope

1. Nine suspiciously familiar characters chase a MacGuffin through pseudo-medieval Europe.

2. Sucked into a whirlpool, a girl finds herself in Nettogrof Forest, facing a man talking to his compass--which is talking back.

3. As the craze for down-sizing hits the G8, the struggle over which nations will get bumped centers on a mysterious amulet.

4. An aging barbershop quartet tries to revitalize its act with a fifth singer, a youngster with a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead.

5. Only by defeating the combined assault of the Zombies of Zorr, the Hellhounds of Garbin, the Werewolves of Weir and the Harpy Witches of Nansket, can Enron regain the Lapel Pin of Conjoinment.

6. The popular Powers sisters are all having an affair with the same guy. He uses an ancient talisman which he hopes will keep his secret safe and his body parts intact.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Would you want to read books with rules? [If you don't read the rule book, you'll be at a big disadvantage, whether in golf, chess, or life. Surely you've read Bill Gates' Rule Book on Life.]

Since her father’s mysterious disappearance two years ago, avid reader, Raychel Mays, seeks solace in the pages of her beloved books. A wooden chest containing four antique books for her twelfth birthday seems like the perfect gift, however, these are no ordinary books. [It's her father's porn collection.] The books have locks and bizarre rules! [The first rule of The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope is, You do not talk about The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope.] Though the rules concern her, [What are the rules?] the anticipation of what she might find within the pages of the locked books is intriguing. [What she might find is intriguing; the anticipation is unbearable.] When she discovers that the key to the first book is her favorite pendant, Raychel is wary, but proceeds to unlock the book. The pages are blank. [What a letdown. It's Al Capone's vault all over.] When she discovers how to make the words appear, she forgets the rules [The second rule of The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope is, You do not talk about The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope!] and begins reading.

The land of Knowl suffers under the evil influence of the Dark Lady, but prophesy tells of the One who will defeat evil and restore peace. Four signs precede the One’s arrival, and the fourth sign chooses the Guardian and Companion to the One. Sixteen-year-old Tymothicus (or Tym as he prefers) Kyre is unhappy with his life in the village of Kniht, [I wouldn't want to be a knight from Kniht; it would turn into a Monty Python routine every day.] but never imagined he would be chosen as Guardian and Companion. Now, he must leave Kniht and set out on a journey that leads him into the dark and dangerous depths of Nettogrof Forest to retrieve Pylot, the talking compass. [Does the compass play recorded electronic voices like a GPS system, or does it have an actual mouth?] [It would be kind of weird to be holding a compass that had a mouth that was talking, especially if it didn't have eyes or a nose. Is there a tongue in the mouth?] [Actually, a compass is about the size of a mouth, so if there's a mouth, there's probably no room for a compass needle. Instead of looking at the compass for directions, you would just say, "Which way is north?" And the mouth would say, "That way," and stick its tongue out to the left.] [If they make a movie of this book, the talking compass will probably have a lot of "attitude," like Donkey in Shrek.] [Like, you ask the compass, "Which way is north?" and it says, "Again with the directions? You couldn't find your way out of a handball court, you moron."] With Pylot in his possession, Tym waits for the One to arrive.

The words on the page end and form a whirlpool that pulls Raychel into the book. [The third rule of The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope is . . . Look out for the whirlpool!] [This is just like The Neverending Story. With one difference: it ends. It does end, right? ]

The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope, introduces people who must overcome their personal conflicts to unite against a common enemy. [The Zombies of Zorr.] It also explores the theory that their choices (for good or ill) effect who they are and what they will become. [That people's lives are affected by their choices is just a theory?]

If you would like to know more, I will be happy to send a partial or full manuscript for your consideration.

Thank you for your time and attention,


Revised Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Since her father’s mysterious disappearance two years ago, avid reader Raychel Mays has sought solace in the pages of her beloved books. A wooden chest containing four antique books for her twelfth birthday seems like the perfect gift. But these are no ordinary books; they have locks and bizarre rules! Though the rules concern Raychel, the anticipation of what she might find within the pages of the locked books is unbearable. When she discovers that the key to the first book is her favorite pendant, Raychel forgets the rules and begins reading:

The land of Knowl suffers under the evil influence of the Dark Lady, but prophesy tells of the One who will defeat evil and restore peace. Four signs precede the One’s arrival, and the fourth sign chooses the Guardian and Companion to the One.

Sixteen-year-old Tymothicus Kyre never imagined he would be chosen as Guardian and Companion. Now, he must leave the village of Kniht and journey into the depths of Nettogrof Forest to retrieve Pylot, the talking compass. With Pylot in his possession, Tym will await the One.

The words on the page end and form a whirlpool that pulls Raychel into the book.

If you would like to read about Raychel's adventures in my novel, The Four Powers: the Amulet of Hope, I will be happy to send a partial or full manuscript for your consideration. Thank you for your time and attention.


Notes

If this is the first of a four-book series (The Amulet of Hope, The Trinket of Trust, The Talisman of Temerity, and The Bauble of Bliss), this should be mentioned in the query. If it isn't a series, I'm not sure we need "The Four Powers" as part of the title.

It wouldn't hurt to give away some of the rules, just so we know why they concern Raychel.