Face-Lift 54

Guess the Plot

Binding Ties

1. When a struggling writer becomes Dean of Discipline at a girls' school, the tables are turned and he learns that submission isn't just for manuscripts.

2. Taken hostage in a rope factory, seven workers are subjected to unrelenting terror at the hands of a psychotic genius who calls himself The Boy Scout.

3. Millie Mercedes lands a job with a belt company, only to embark on a journey of erotic awakening involving late night bondage sessions.

4. Turn-of-the-century tie-making sweatshop workers Jill and Oliver fall for each other--but the factory overseer has his eye on Jill too.

5. A renegade vigilante sorcerer plans to take over corporate America by placing a choking curse on all the neckties sold at Brooks Brothers.

6. Sandi Rose looks forward to having the perfect family life now that her kidnaped son is back, but with her fiancé trying to kill her and her nanny out to destroy her and her son, it looks like rough sailing ahead.



Original Version

Dear Editor Sir:

Award winning investigative reporter Sandi Rose seems to have it all. She has a wonderful career, a son who adores her and a handsome fiancé. But things aren’t all flowers and sweet music.

Seven months earlier, Sandi’s son was kidnapped and though he’s back home, he’s plagued with almost constant nightmares. Sandi herself is having visions, which grew worse following a near fatal car accident, someone is out to steal her job and the man she loves is trying to kill her. [Though admittedly, that's his only fault.] [Which makes him a better catch than the guys she used to date.]

In desperation, Sandi turns to a Homicide Detective for help, [Why a homicide detective? Does she know the man she loves is trying to kill her?] unaware of his obsession with her. [Was he obsessed with her before she turned to him? Did he fall in love with her back when he was investigating her husband's poisoning death, a case that went unsolved after the detective conveniently lost the evidence?] He would do anything to protect her, even commit murder. [He should murder the man she loves. Makes her safer and gets his competition out of the way.] And her nanny, the one person she trusts with her son’s life is attempting to destroy them both. [Okay, the cop needs to murder the nanny too. And whoever's trying to steal Sandi's job. Then things will be all flowers and sweet music.]

Sandi Consults a Homicide Detective

Detective: What can I do for you, Ms. Rose?

Sandi: Detective, I think my fiancé is trying to kill me.

Detective: What gives you that idea?

Sandi: I've been having terrible visions.

Detective: I see. So, you think your fiancé is drugging you?

Sandi: Also, I was in a car wreck. It's possible my fiancé drained all my brake fluid.

Detective: Why would he--

Sandi: It was either my fiancé or the guy trying to steal my job. Or maybe my nanny.

Detective: Your nanny?

Sandi: Yes, she's out to destroy me and my little boy.

Detective: I see. Well, Ms. Rose, I'm not sure you've given me enough hard evi-- . . . I love you. I love you more than life itself.

Sandi: Why, I--

Detective: No! Don't say anything! Just make a list of everyone who's out to get you. I'll murder them tonight, and we'll take it from there.]


My 95,000 word contemporary mystery, Binding Ties, takes place in Sacramento, California.

The complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Revised Version

Dear Editor Sir:

Award winning investigative reporter Sandi Rose is trying to get her life back together. Seven months ago her son was kidnaped, and though he’s back home, he’s plagued with nightmares. Sandi herself is having visions, ever since a near fatal car accident--or was it an accident? It appears someone cut Sandi's brake lines. And who else but her fiancé had access to her car?

Horrified, Sandi turns to Homicide Detective Tony Vader, her hot-tempered neighbor who's been asking her out every week for the past three years. Tony would do anything for Sandi, even murder her fiancé and her nanny, the one person she trusts with her son’s life, but who she suspects is attempting to destroy them both.

Will Tony get to nanny and fiancé before they get to Sandi? Who is trying to steal Sandi's job? Will Sandi get the psychiatric attention she so desperately needs?

My 95,000 word contemporary mystery, Binding Ties, is available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Notes

Evil Editor got carried away there. Possibly because the query seems like a list of calamities, with no real plot. Is this a murder mystery? If so, who gets murdered? Who are the suspects? It's a rare mystery that can succeed without a murder, so it should be made clear in the query that there is one.