Why you don't get published.
Okay, I'll play. :D"If Britney Spears and Volume 1 had a love child, this would be it.""Surgeon General's Warning: May cause permanent laugh lines."hahahaha that last one was bad. Pretend I didn't write that.Rhonda
Outstanding value at only 50c an ounce*.*Or whatever: you do the math...
Second base is always better than first base. Just wait until we score that homerun.
"Only the truly brave may enter this realm.""Body armor highly suggested during the reading of this book."
Ever dreamed of being a writer? This is the book that will change your mind.
Think you could make a better job of finishing somebody else's story? 97.5* of Evil Editor's minions prove that it's harder than they thought.*Furry beasts only earn 0.5 of a person point. Wait till it gets to cute points though...
Not very expensive and we need the money.
Instructions for use: place under shortest leg of coffee table.Caution: if table is still uneven, prop up opposite side with Novel Deviations 1.ORThis is absolutely the second-most book in the Novel Deviations series.
"Shock 'n raw!"
I really like "The long awaited prequel to Volume 3."
What? Me Write?
"Novel Deviations is made of paper! It's paper!""Only made from murderous trees who have been sentenced to death by a court of their peers.""Now with 50% more humor!""** Batteries not included. Offer not valid in Texas, New Jersey, and Canada. Do not drive while reading this product.""More entertaining than a thesaurus!""Dashing literary dreams, one author at a time.""The devil wields a red pen."
"This book will stop you from joining the monastery... and you'll grow hair!""If you're looking for something evil, read any book. If you're looking for something evil and funny, drop everything and read Novel Deviations 2!""Sick of battling drug/alchohol/insatiable porn appetite? Grab Novel Deviations 2! This stuff will keep you off that stuff!""The book every pope must read."Okay, crawling back into the shell. Quit throwing stuff.
Better than Porn!You won't be able to put it down. No, really. We've added some glue.Have a lousy sence of humour, or no humour at all? Just memorize this book, and you'll be the life of the party.
"Deviating in new ways. Make that newer ways.""Still deviating.""We couldn't be any freaking more deviant. And novel. Until Volume 3. Now Volume 3, that's what Satan calls deviant.""Warning: Do not operate heavy machinery after consumption.""20% more ril.""EE said I could use this as a pub credit! A pub credit! Me! OMG! OMG!""Ingredients: Water, corn syrup, vigilantesorceror #5, deoxybrutaluschloroeunuchus, vitamins E and E, DecemberQuinnam Gum. Contains less than 1% of: art.""These freaks think that singing about dying children is funny. That tells you all you need to know.""Crap, now I have to go do work instead of coming up with silly things to put in EE's book. Wait. You typed that in? What are you- Stop! I told you- One more letter and I'm going to kick your ass into the nexus of time travel itself. That's it! klgsjhagdf"
Wait...singing about dying children isn't funny? Crap! What, did I miss a memo?
Volume I was sexy, but Volume II will keep you up all night...
OK- my vote has changed- I likeAnonymous 11:06 pm's contribution, thank you very much.
What do you think happened to that poor astronaut?? (Okay, that was in incredibly poor taste.)
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