Face-Lift 316

Guess the Plot

Love Thy Neighbor

1. When Beverly discovers her husband is cheating on her, she's devastated. Then a hunky new neighbor moves in. Following the scripture couldn't get her into trouble . . . could it?

2. When the attractive young couple move in next door, Bob and Ginny find themselves talking over the idea of an open marriage for the first time in 75 years.

3. A tender love story about what can happen when two kindred spirits--both dreamers, both romantics--are placed in adjoining cells.

4. Candi’s website, Love Thy Neighbor, is up for the Amateur Porn Site of the Year award. If she can recover the stolen tape of her three-way with the mayor and Britney Spears, she’s a lock.

5. In The Greatest Story Ever Told II, a vigilante Jesus throttles Judas with his bare hands and then single-handedly infiltrates the impenetrable Samaritan compound to assassinate the whole clan, except for the good one. Featuring brass knuckles combat with Herod the Great.

6. Relationship counselor Duffer J. Lapin explains why cheating can be a positive influence on a marriage, and just where he was last night.


Original Version

Dear Agent,

Love Thy Neighbor is the story of every community. [I live in every community. It's dullsville. I want to read the story of the most fascinating community.] People become close, lives intertwine, and pretty soon secrets are common knowledge. [That whole paragraph is so general, you may as well leave it out.]

All Beverly McGuire wanted was to be loved and to paint. [And then she fell in love with a man who wanted to hang wallpaper.] With Eric Snow, she thought she had both, including terrific sex. [An awkward continuation. To be loved and to paint aren't things you "have." Maybe true love and a career as an artist. Change "including" to "plus," as terrific sex wasn't included originally. Also, it sounds like she can't paint without Eric Snow. Why not? If she's already an artist, she wants love. She has paint.] Seven years later, [We're moving right along here. How much of the book is taken up by those seven years?] married and pregnant with their third child, she has doubts about everything. [Everything?] When Beverly finds Eric literally with his pants down, [twelve years later,] she realizes it’s time to rethink her life plan. She never thought that life plan would include falling in love with a new neighbor, her best friend wanting to marry her dad, [Does Beverly's dad know this? Are they dating? Have they hit the sheets yet? If your best friend becomes your stepmother, do you have to get her a Mother's Day card? Just wondering.] or her next door confidante dying of cancer. With the help of her Severn’s Edge neighbors, Beverly creates a new life for herself and discovers the many types of love that make a family.

Love Thy Neighbor is a completed mainstream fiction novel of approximately 118,000 words. I have included the first five pages for your perusal. I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


Notes

This is pretty brief. I'm guessing the story is Beverly making a new life. There's not enough about that in the query. You could start:

When artist Beverly McGuire discovers her husband of seven years in bed with her mom, she realizes it's time to rethink her life plan. She never thought that plan would include her best friend wanting to marry her dad or her next-door confidante dying of cancer or . . . falling in love all over again.

Then you can tell us all about the new neighbor and Beverly's one-woman show at the trendiest gallery in town and how everything's going great--until Eric Snow comes crawling back begging for a second chance.

That's a pretty long book considering you couldn't think of anything to tell us about what happens in it.

There is an NBA player named Eric Snow. Not as famous as Shaquille O'Neal, of course, and maybe not famous enough for the name to be a distraction, but he's been around long enough that a lot of people have heard of him. Your call.