Saturday, April 07, 2007
Guess the Plot
Through the Veil
1. Jody Winesap tries to remember anything that would help her locate that guy she met at Woodstock, for the sake of their son, Sunbeam Starchild. The boy has grown into an insurance executive who calls himself "Todd Johnson" and can't stop talking about market share. If Jody can reunite him with his father, Prince Sequoia, there might be hope for him yet.
2. Martian Princess Cora desperately wants to avoid what she sees Through the Veil: an arranged marriage to the cross-eyed, drooling Prince of Titan.
3. Michael Roberts loves his job as a CIA agent. But when he is assigned a new post in Iran, he gets more than he bargained for--he must pose not only as a private citizen, but as a woman! Fully cloaked in his burqa, no one will ever know except his "husband"-- but when he falls in love with a beautiful Iranian woman, all bets are off.
4. Slavenka Philopovna wants a storybook wedding so much she becomes a mail-order bride. But as she dresses for the wedding, she realizes she's never even seen the man she's about to marry. Can she make a quick getaway if she doesn't like what she sees . . . through the veil?
5. Amelia McDonald's brother has been kidnapped by monstrous creatures, and the only way to save him is to follow him "through the veil" into the fairy kingdom. But now Amelia has her own problems: she's being hunted, by the entity known only as . . . The Steward.
6. Annette has been planning her wedding day since she was five, and when the date is finally set with super hunk Stud Ripken, all her dreams are about to come true. However, her veil is so thick she finds herself having just said "I do" to 3-eyed Orville in the wrong church. Will she get a refund from the wedding shop? And will she find love with Orville?
The daughter of a fairy princess can expect certain perks: first pick of the season's Spinken-spun silks, preferred seating at the Moonspring Renewal Festival, and not having to obsess about looking fat in a puffy pink bridesmaid dress. Unfortunately, nobody told thirteen-year-old Amelia McDonald about her royal heritage- she doesn't even know fairies exist- so obsessing is just what she is doing when her days of blissful ignorance come to an abrupt end. [I don't care if she knows she's the daughter of a fairy princess or not; if she looks like a pregnant water buffalo in the pink dress, she'll obsess. Any female would, perks or no perks.]
Amelia is busy bemoaning her father's upcoming wedding to her town's Martha Stewart when Morta, a know-it-all fairy with a regrettable chocolate allergy, crash lands in her room. Just as Amelia is warming to her tiny visitor, the two discover that Amelia's brother Sam has somehow managed to get himself kidnapped [He's been kidnapped. Why make it sound like it's the victim's fault?] by monstrous ice-flecked creatures called dureks. [How do they know who kidnapped him? Did they find a trail of ice cubes?] Determined to find Sam, Amelia uses a charm to disguise herself as a fairy and, despite her inability to fly without running into things, she and Morta journey into the fairy kingdom.
As if one [her] missing brother wasn't [weren't] problem enough, Amelia soon learns that the fairy world isn't all buttercups and Tinkerbells; it is often [it's also] bone-chilling dureks and fairy-eating trolls. Worse, she is being hunted by the Steward, an ambitious fairy who is not about to let anyone interfere with his plans for Sam, [I don't see a ruthless, ambitious guy calling himself "the Steward." It would be like Martha Stewart declaring that henceforth she wanted to be known as "the Stewardess."] and the Wanderer Silira, a charmcrafter who has done something evil enough to warrant eternal banishment from the kingdom. Only if Amelia can stay a step ahead of them- and manage to subsist on the less-than-satisfactory local diet of nuts and berries- can she hope to be reunited with her brother.
Through the Veil is a 70,000 word standalone novel for young adults with fantastic series potential. [Unfortunately, very few young adults have fantastic series potential.] Thank you for your consideration, and I hope for the opportunity to speak with you further about this project.
* The Veil (invisible to humans) is a cascading curtain of shimmering light that separates the mortal world from the fairy kingdom.
Not bad. Nice tone, nice specifics. I'm not crazy about these names: the Steward, dureks, the Wanderer Silira, Morta. The minions who agree with me are in charge of coming up with better names for you.
We don't need to know about Amelia's diet. Telling us she needs to find a way to defeat the dureks would be more dramatic than telling us she must withstand an unsatisfying diet of nuts and berries.
We also don't need to know about Morta's regrettable chocolate allergy, but at least that's mildly amusing.
It would be funnier if Amelia's father were marrying the real Martha Stewart.