Face-Lift 306

Guess the Plot

Empath's Lair

1. Interior decorator Claire Holloway can't decide whether to change professions or commit murder when her new client keeps saying, "It just doesn't feel right."

2. Psychic Sylvie Hughes prepares a seance for her most handsome client ever. Can she raise the ghost of Jack Tornado's great great great grandfather and convince him to reveal the location of his lost California goldmine?

3. Rookie elephant handler Kurt Howard travels to India to learn from The Empath, a legendary mystic who can read animals’ minds. But will a romantic entanglement with The Empath’s daughter ruin Kurt’s chances of achieving elephant-handling glory?

4. Belinda has always been a gifted psychic. When she finally realizes her dream of opening a metaphysical shop, she thinks her life is complete. But a new, discount psychic is moving into town, threatening to crush her fledgling business. What can Belinda do to save . . . Empath's Lair?

5. Mirella Glenmore isn't sure whether she should tell everyone she's an empath, or keep it to herself. Is it more fun to have a secret, or to be admired as someone special? When her uncle vows to exterminate all empaths, suddenly the answer is crystal clear.

6. Deep in the Earth's crust, scientists hell-bent on world domination are breeding the perfect weapon: an army of middle-aged women with obscenely large frontal lobes. The plan: hijack the pop-culture talk show machine on every major continent, bringing the world to its knees with irresistible hour-long cry sessions.


Original Version

Imagine that throughout your life you shared the emotions of everyone around you. [The first thing I'd do is quit my weekend job in the funeral home, and become a gigolo.] If a coworker broke up with her boyfriend, you felt her sadness. [On the other hand, I'd be uniquely positioned to comfort her in this time of need.] Every time your neighbor came home angry, you yelled at your spouse. Each day was like a roller coaster in the dark—you never knew what was coming next. [I would think an empath would have a better idea what was coming next than anyone else. For instance, if I was waiting in line to mail a package, and a disgruntled postal worker came in to shoot the place up, I would sense his anger and immediately hide behind the fattest person in line.] Now imagine that your uncle and his church were out to kill you.

Mirella Glenmore, daughter of the king, doesn't have to imagine it. She lives it every day. [Has she mentioned this to her father, the king? Because historically, kings have taken a dim view of those trying to kill their daughters, and kings do have access to armies, dungeons and guillotines.] She was born an empath, physically indistinguishable from everyone else, but able to sense their emotions in the same way others hear or see. [Through her ears and eyes?] Her uncle, the archbishop of a radical new church, has vowed to exterminate all empaths in the hopes of ending a terrible plague that is strangling all life from their homeland. [Is there a reason to believe killing empaths will end the plague?] When Mirella is betrayed and her secret gets out, it sets into motion a calamitous series of events that promises to change the balance of good and evil forever. [Is it desirable to maintain a balance of good and evil? Isn't reducing evil as much as possible a better idea?]

Empath's Lair (F--84,000wc) is the tale of a complicated world where nothing is as it seems. [Nothing?] Friends become foes, heroes become villains, and a sworn enemy becomes Mirella's most intimate lover.

I am a former journalist and book editor.

I have enclosed the first chapter. I have the full manuscript ready to send upon request. Thank you for your time. I hope to get the chance to discuss Empath's Lair with you in greater detail soon.


Notes

Killing all empaths would be difficult, as there's no way of knowing who's an empath, and the empaths can feel your murderous intent. You walk into a tavern, keeping your sword hidden behind your back, and it goes:

You: Are there any empaths in here? I need an empath for, um, an important and high-paying job. In fact, two or three empaths would be even better.

Bartender: Sorry, no empaths here. Shouldn't you be trying the tavern across the street?

You: Which one?

Bartender: The Empath's Lair.


This is brief enough as it is, but the first paragraph has nothing to do with the book. It merely explains what an empath is. The third sentence of the second paragraph explains this again. If you start out with: Mirella Glenmore, daughter of the king, is an empath, physically indistinguishable . . . you'll have lots of room to tell us about the plague and the calamitous events and the intimate lover.

Or, if you want to stick with a more casual tone, you could use one of these openings:

Mirella Glenmore thought being an empath was pretty cool, until her uncle embarked on a quest to exterminate all empaths.

Being an empath isn't all it's cracked up to be--especially when the church proclaims that all empaths must die at the hands of Borgo the Disemboweler.