I don't get it, Evil Editor thought. April 23 is the anniversary of my first blog post. A whole year of sending electrons into the ether, and I don't even get a lousy email from the one person in the world I want to hear from? Sure, you're a big celebrity now, but where would you be if not for EE? I may as well just end it all.
He reached into the drawer where he kept the knife used in the O.J. murders, his first-ever Ebay purchase. I wonder if his fingerprints are still there after all these years, he thought. It would be ironic if he got away with those murders, but got convicted of killing me.
He was about to plunge the knife into his chest when he was stopped by those fateful words: You've got mail! Could this be it? He clicked on the mailbox. The subject line read New Comment on Evil Editor's Anniversary. He opened it and read: