Friday, July 14, 2006
Guess the Plot
Sex, Drugs, and Show Tunes
1. A home for the elderly is thrown into chaos when the ladies can not afford their new prescription medicines and must turn to karaoke and prostitution to make ends meet.
2. The glamorous yet ultimately tragic life of Dorothy, a "fag hag" who follows her heart to the wrong side of the rainbow, is detailed in this touching faux-memoir.
3. Garrett Hoyt has finally made his dream move to New York City, after a lifetime of moldering away in Little Rock. So what's he going to do now? Let's put it this way: he's not here for the museums.
4. Drag queen detectives Geraldo Fernandez and Maximillian pursue a serial killer through the seedy underworld of New York's piano bar scene.
5. The behind-the-scenes drama unfolds as Mick Jagger and Grace Slick rehearse a Broadway revival of The King and I in the year 2017, financed by Spielberg.
6. Gay rock-n-rollers AnälTäp overdose on Cosmos, flaunt their short hair, and decorate hotel rooms, until they are sued into obscurity for plagiarizing Rent.
Dear Mr. Agent,
Dorothy Abramson has been a "fag hag" as long as she can remember. [Suddenly Evil Editor can't unload the image of the Sea Hag, who used to torment Popeye. I'm thinking this is nothing like that.] In college, she played side-kick to the most flamboyant boys on campus. In high school, she outed the school quarterback. Even as far back as infancy, she and her father bonded over their love of movie musicals. [Why, even in the womb (1st trimester!) she found herself singing along with her mother to the Man of La Mancha soundtrack.] [Whether one can have a love of movie musicals in infancy depends, I suppose, on your definition of infancy. I might go with "Even in her youth," or "childhood."
In many ways, Dorothy's life has been too fabulous for words -- [but I'll give you a few anyway:] great friends, better lovers, and plenty of high-grade cocaine. [Is this a bio of Dorothy or of Evil Editor?] But that's only half the story: whether they walk out in anger, marry their lovers, or slit their wrists, Dorothy's beloved boys have a nasty habit of leaving her broken-hearted and alone. Looking back over a life filled with lovers but lacking in true love, Dorothy wonders exactly how much happiness she has sacrificed to her neurosis.
Sex, Drugs, and Showtunes is an 83,000-word faux-memoir detailing the glamorous yet ultimately tragic life of a girl who follows her heart to the wrong side of the rainbow. I would be happy to provide you with a complete manuscript. A SASE is enclosed for your reply, or you may contact me at ___________ .
Thank you for your time and consideration.
I don't see problems here. I assume it ends with Dorothy thinking over her life decisions? If, however, there's an actual climactic event/scene that the book progresses toward, it wouldn't hurt to hint at that.