Twelve-year-old Tony was well aware he lived in a putrid house. Life forced him to share his small and cramped dwelling with a rotten mother and father who insisted on being the boss of him. Also contaminating the house were four older sisters who tried to ruin his every waking moment: Theresa, Tiffany, Tina, and Tammy. Tony was the baby ‘T.’
“You skinny little worm. You don’t need lunch today.” Seventeen-year-old Theresa threw a piece of cheese and a slice of tomato at Tony, then ordered him out of the kitchen. He peeked around the corner and watched her gobble all the potato chips and most of the good cereal.
Tony’s quick-thinking brain made a calculation. Reason for running away number 97: Piggy-T ate all his food. Again.
Tony stomped into the bathroom and realized his survival was at stake. He had to tiptoe around Tiffany’s pink socks and pink hair ribbons and (ewww!) even her pink underwear so he could make it to the toilet and pee. When he finished, he poured a glob of shampoo on top of every pink girl cootie he could find. Lazy Tiffany’s mess gave Tony reason number 98 for packing it up and getting the heck out of town.
Within seconds he heard his mother's grating voice.
"Tony!" Her clodding steps reached the bathroom and she flung open the door . . . without even knocking! "Boy," she said, "what are you doing in here all this time? Look at the mess in--" Tony followed his mother's gaze as it fell on Tiffany's pink underwear with the glistening glob of shampoo sitting right in the centre. "Jesus Christ, boy, what in God's name . . . ?"
It looked like Mom was about to provide reason number 99.
Opening: Church Lady.....Continuation: Anonymous