Werecreatures!

The following fake plots have appeared on this blog over time. Except two of them aren't fakes, but the actual plots of minions' novels. Which ones?


1. Jenny harkens back to the time before the solar flare that changed her boyfriend into a transgender vampirous werewolf. But at least now he’s kind.

2. Butch, Guts, and Ripper are pleasantly surprised when a rare female werewolf joins their pack. Tension ensues, however, when the three pals turn against one another in hopes of winning the position of Alpha male, and the affections of . . . Werewoman.

3. She was an ordinary Persian until the accident that sent her flying from her owner's limousine window into a dark alley . . . Now, every full moon, this stray cat becomes a bar-hopping little pussy known as . . . Werewoman.

4. In this collection of short stories, Cliffnote Brown discovers that his uncle Dire Wolf is a werewolf, a werewolf destined to battle Bob the Life Sucking Demon III for dominance over the known universe.

5. When Timmy goes missing on a winter field trip, only one person can penetrate the gloom of the Arctic, find the eco-terrorist's hideout, and rescue the boy before it's too late: wildlife photographer Jane Eminescu, the notorious . . . Werewoman.

6. When Shannon starts work as a waitress in The Blue Gemstone, the swankiest restaurant in town, she has no idea she's really stumbled into a front for the werewolf crime lords known as the Lupens.

7. By day, she lived in the woods, chased after squirrels, and snoozed in the sunshine. But by night she wore grey flannel suits and traded the Japanese markets. She was . . . Werewoman!

8. Only by defeating the combined assault of the Zombies of Zorr, the Hellhounds of Garbin, the Werewolves of Weir and the Harpy Witches of Nansket, can Enron regain the Lapel Pin of Conjoinment.

9. When Stinky and Dwight investigate the commotion behind the dumpster, they discover the mayor of Springfield is actually a rodent-eating werewolf with serious wardrobe issues. Should they scram fast or use Stinky's cell phone to zap her picture to the Springfield Times?

10. When Noah Fenton is seduced and bitten by a mysterious woman during a night of debauchery, he doesn’t think much of it--until the next full moon causes his penis to shrivel and crawl inside his body, and he becomes . . . Werewoman.

11. Evan and Ebony Walker have been through a lot together. But, when they awaken one morning and discover Polaroids scattered about of two werewolves doing the horizontal howl in their bedroom they ask themselves the obvious question.

12. Australian Christina Margolin is the world's only known weredingo, a fact she has kept hidden, until she involuntarily "Shifts" into dingo form in the presence of Special Agent Donovan Moreno – who himself is a Shifter– a werepussy.

13. A trio of has-been prostitutes open a barbershop, hoping its clever name will draw customers. It does, but from an unexpected quarter: angst-ridden werewolves hoping a close shave will allow them to "pass." Also: bearded zombies.



Answers below






Actual plots: 10, 12