Friday, January 30, 2009
Guess the Plot
The Last Prince of Numea
1. The fecund queens and virile kings of Numea were the envy of surrounding kingdoms. With thirteen healthy young princes, the succession was assured. Or so the king thought, until he refuses to pay the mysterious piper in his motley cloak.
2. Numea's throne is empty, for only a prince can rule. Sandala, daughter of the last prince of Numea, joins with a snooty elf, a grumpy dwarf, and an easily-distracted unicorn, to quest to the furthest reaches of the world in search of the sex change that will save her kingdom.
3. Meet Joe Strident, president of Numea, the biggest moisturizing lotion manufacturer in the western world. His R&D boys have been working overtime and now say they have the greatest moisturizer of them all. But the new formula, Preparation V, has sinister side effects, turning the skin deathly white and inducing an insatiable craving for blood.
4. Master assassin Avarice is the last hope of the kingdom. Can one greedy, cold and ruthless killer change his ways, helping those upon whom he once preyed? Can he restore peace and civility? Nah.
5. Gilhad, Prince of Numea, wants nothing more than to marry the lovely Ernilda and unite his war-torn land -- but when Broh, the last Prince, rises from the grave and seeks out Ernilda for his zombie bride, Gilhad must raise his own army of the undead or lose his love forever.
6. As his people's Calendar of All Time roles to its end Prince Dolan of Numea must choose between the needs of his subjects and of himself. Will he eat the poison egg the priest will hand him tomorrow or is there another way that might save them all?
"I have written a 60,000-word heroic fantasy/adventure novel aimed at adult readers entitled The Last Prince of Numea
The book follows the adventures of an assassin, known as Avarice, [If there's a master assassin hanging around your kingdom, and you don't know his name, you're gonna call him something cool like Torpedo or The Eliminator, or The Butcher of Numea, or Liquidator. Anything but Avarice.] who is compelled to aid those upon which he once plagued. [Compelled by whom? Most people are extremely reluctant to boss around master assassins.] It is set in the extravagant kingdom of Alborea, [Alborea? What's Numea? Never mind, I'm sure you'll get to that.] whose stability is maintained largely by the covert acts of this master assassin. After his deeds are manipulated to place an evil ruler into power, he joins an endeavor to restore peace and civility to the country. Although he at first seems cold and ruthless, his noble lineage and heroism are ultimately revealed.
This story travels off the beaten path of traditional fantasy novels and will be refreshing to fans of the genre. My goal was to create an engrossing world, with its own rich history, and emphasize the mystery and adventure of Avarice the main character."
So a master assassin who's been "plaguing upon" the people is suddenly hailed as a hero just because he helps get rid of an evil ruler he helped bring to power?
Is this a fantasy just because the setting isn't a real place? I expect a fantasy to have magic or fantastical creatures or something supernatural.
This isn't enough plot to interest me. It's like a few topic sentences with no elaboration. Double the number of sentences in your plot description. Give more detail. Make us want to read the book.