Tuesday, July 15, 2008

New Beginning 528

“Reading is such hard work,” sighed Lydia.

Luke had his JOB papers and was industriously rolling a joint, laced with a special ingredient. He gave her a wink while his thumbs continued their maneuvers. “Quit yer bitchin’. You won’t be able to read after a few puffs of this magic dragon.”

“Ha! It’s just pot”

“Not just pot. Panama Red with a touch of Angel Dust,” replied Luke, waving the little cigarette to dry it. “Now finish your homework so we can get high.”

“But this is so boring!”

“It’s not that bad. I finished reading it last week.”

“I’d like to Thoreau this book away. ‘Pause! Avast! Why so seeming fast, but deadly slow?’”

Luke smiled at the pretty little brunette. She was petite but well-endowed with firm, round breasts. He has wholly approved when she burned her bra. She was willing to get completely naked in the backseat of his Le Mans on Saturday nights; Luke was willing to overlook the fact that she wasn’t an “A” student. He didn’t really mind that beneath her thick and lovely locks lay a very thick head.

“Ok. Light it up,” she said. “This next chapter’s called ‘Higher Laws’.”

Some days later, as Luke cooled his heels in his jail cell on felony drug charges, he would remember Lydia's last words to him with a certain irony.

Opening: ME.....Continuation: freddie


Evil Editor said...

Unchosen continuations:

Luke smiled at the memory.

"Cool, Dad!" said Luke Jr. "What else did Mom do?"


Lydia threw Thoreau onto the side table. "By the way, I've been accepted into the Police Academy. You're going to be something of a project for me...I'll pass on the joint, thank you."


After a few puffs, Lydia fell stiffly back on the bed. Luke grimaced and rolled the pretty little brunette against the wall. Reaching under the bed he hauled a pretty little blonde out by her thick lovely locks. He caressed her firm round breasts with one thumb, and pulled the string in her back with his free hand.
"Math is hard!" she chirped.
"Ah, Barbie," he whispered. "Those other bitches won't ever come between us."


Stacy said...

I like this, but I'm not sure it works as an opening to a novel. Is it a chapter opening?

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is a chapter opening.


Anonymous said...

The fact that it's a chapter opening makes it work for me. If it were the initial opening scene, I'd find them a couple of annoying slackers and close the book. But as a chapter opening, we are picking up at a place where we apparently know the boy who's pov we are using.

I do think that the mention of her breasts and being stupid but worthwhile for her breasts/ attractiveness might be a bit As You Know, Bobbish, though.


Robin S. said...

Hey ME,

How are you?

I like this as a chapter opening.

In that second to last paragraph, I think this sentence..He has wholly approved when she burned her bra. either needs to come out or to be revised. My feeling is, you don't need it. i'd just pop an 'and' between the previous sentence and the LeMans sentence - and there ya go- Bob's yer uncle. It flows better that way, in my opinion.

And freddie - good continuation!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for commenting! Also thanks for the ziner continuation, freddie!

WW, appreciate your suggestions and I can see what you mean about the overkill, Bob. Luke is the MC (I'm pretty sure I'm trying to pov it 3rd Omni?!) but not the hero, for sure. Really, really do appreciate your comments!!

And Robin, thank you for the edit, you are right! I kinda gave up on my other storyline (frankly, I'm not sure about anything these days) and went off into this whole other charcter/plot. . . Thanks again!!!


talpianna said...

Is this set in the late 1950s? The bra-burning bit certainly isn't contemporary.

(Incidentally, bra-burning is a myth. What actually happened was that a group of feminists demonstrating against the Miss American competition dumped their bras in a big trash can.)

Robin S. said...

Actually, I may have known more than a few bra burners. The thing is, almost nothing is a myth once the myth sets in and there are, shall we say, followers on.

Anonymous said...

How many bras and how big was the trashcan?

Anonymous said...

He didn’t really mind that beneath her thick and lovely locks lay a very thick head.

I like!

Anonymous said...


Tal! Parts of the story are contemporary and parts are "flashbacks" to '69. I actually do remember seeing the photo of the garbage can full of bras, high heels, etc, although I was very young at the time. "Bra-burning" was quite the buzzword at the time and also connoted that the woman in question was, in fact, braless. Or so this character might think.

Robin, speaking of bras, don't you think "Maidenform" got revenge later when almost "ALL" bras were underwire and rubbed raw the extra rib?

anon 7:54 see link
anon 8:31 :)


WouldBe said...

I had a little trouble deciding where the story is going because I'm "trained" to think about story openings, rather than chapter openings.

As a chapter opening, I did form impressions that are perhaps more story-oriented than chapter-oriented, but I'll report them nevertheless, in case you find it useful. It is short: the guy is going to get some comeuppance at the hands of the girl. We only have his self-opinion that he's brainy. The girl might not be Nobel prize material (we assume), but she's witty and seems to keep up with him just fine.