Monday, June 11, 2007
Guess the Plot
Living with the Bull
1. Know-it-all Morton Sledge inherits a fortune from his grandfather's bedspread business, but will his millions distract beautiful Bunny Perkins from the fact that he's a crashing bore?
2. Evicted from her apartment, ostracized by her friends and coworkers, Jennifer begins to suspect it was a mistake to get a pit bull.
3. The new bull Mary hired to work in her china shop just isn't working out. Not only is her business tanking, local biker gangs start harassing her. That's when she finds that sometimes a bull can come in handy.
4. Prison romances don't always turn out happily ever after, but Corinne Pilch, Number 4411227, is in for life -- with the guard of her dreams.
5. "Dear, you look gorgeous today!"
"No, Mom, we didn't get any homework."
". . . and there's absolutely no obligation to buy!"
Esther Poncky has heard it all. It's just part of . . . Living with the Bull.
6. Despite what Bill says, he really isn't the reincarnation of Napoleon, the lost King of Sweden, or the heir to the Howard Hughes fortune. Nor is he the secret lover of Paris Hilton, or the love child of Elvis. Living with the Bull might be too much for some; but Naomi loves her husband and won't see him wrongfully prosecuted for murder.
Dear Evil Editor,
I am seeking representation for my novel, LIVING WITH THE BULL, complete at 72,500 words. [I hope all you people looking for agents and publishers are prepared to start . . . Living with the Bull.]
In LIVING WITH THE BULL, Jennifer felt like she was one letdown away from being back between her Strawberry Shortcake sheets at her parents’ house. [The only reason she didn't move back with them was because then she'd really be . . . Living with the Bull.] Then she meets Gwen, a woman her own age who spends her spare time rescuing dogs in the suburbs of Chicago. Jennifer wonders where Gwen hides her [matador's] cape, until she discovers that her friend’s utopian dog rescue more closely resembles a Tim Burton movie. Feeling betrayed by her friend, ["I trusted you, Gwen, but now I find out that your dog rescue operation is like a combination of Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Planet of the Apes, and Mars Attacks! You've betrayed me."] Jennifer wants to give Oscar, a pit bull, a second chance at a good life. [That might be a better place to start the query.] She hopes that saving him might rescue her, too. But she never expected that her commitment to put kibble in his bowl would turn into a civil liberties crusade.
Because of Oscar’s breed, Jennifer is accosted by strangers, [mauled at home,] and ostracized at work. It’s one thing to have to defend his reputation, but her level of commitment to Oscar and her ability to keep her own life afloat are tested when she is evicted from her apartment [Yes ma'am, I know your lease says pets are allowed. But your pet has eaten everyone else's pets.] and faced with a city council that wants to ban pit bulls entirely. [Plus, her crusade to have the Constitution amended to give pit bulls the vote is going nowhere.] LIVING WITH THE BULL is the story of a woman trying [to] navigate the worlds of dog adoption, prejudice, and twenty-something independence.
I earned a B.A. in Creative Writing from the University of Michigan, [so I am well-qualified to write about . . Living with the Bull.] where I won a Hopwood Award for Poetry. I have been active in animal rescue for over eight years and I currently sit on the Board of Directors of Pit Bull Rescue Central.
A full manuscript is available upon request. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
The reason pit bulls have a reputation for aggression (besides the fact that the media always trumpets it whenever one of them kills a rhinoceros or a little league team) is because of their name. Pit bull sounds intimidating. Henceforth, let's go with Mellow Mutt.
Even if I correctly guess that you mean Corpse Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas, it's still not clear how the Tim Burton reference shows betrayal. Dump it.
It's admirable that you want to incorporate your passion into a book, but I want to know more about what happens. All we've got is, woman adopts dog, woman loses all her friends. If you have a good story, tell us what it is. What's Oscar's past history? Was he Michael Vick's champion fighter? What does Jennifer need rescuing from? We'll care more about them if we know this. If their stories are boring, if you're mainly defending pit bulls, perhaps nonfiction is the way to go.