Sunday, April 18, 2010

Fake Query 4

Face-Lift 366: Mysteries and Cemeteries

When ace homicide detective Bob Bungle discovers that everyone in the Eternal Rest cemetery is dead, he knows two things: there must be a crazed serial killer on the loose, and he won't need to stop at the florist shop to bring his wife flowers tonight. Bungle has one clue: the killer is an anal organization freak, having taken the trouble of labeling each corpse, putting their names and dates of death on stone tablets like butterflies in a display box.

In an obvious effort to taunt Bungle, the killer also buried each of his victims under several feet of earth. Bungle hires a night work crew to dig up the bodies and bust open the boxes in which the killer concealed them. Unfortunately, most of the victims have been dead several decades, leaving behind little or no forensic evidence, like when a body is burned and the ashes are thrown into sulfuric acid, but not that bad.

Bob Bungle specializes in digging into cold cases, and this one's spent ages buried in the homicide vaults like pirate booty. But when Bungle discovers that Eternal Rest isn't the only killing field, that they're spread all over town like Starbucks but without WiFi, he realizes he may finally be in over his head.

Mysteries and Cemeteries is the fifth in a series of unpublished Bob Bungle mysteries. Thank you.

--Evil Editor


Khazar-khum said...

Did Bob study under Zack?

Dave Fragments said...

Bob Bungle seems to have the IQ of a 25 watt dark (it's not a light because when you turn it on, the room gets gloomy and darker)...


ril said...

I fream of a Starbucks without WiFi, where I might actually be able to find an open table...

You seem to have a knack for this query stuff. Well done!