Sunday, April 18, 2010

Fake Query 1

Face-Lift 184: The Naked World

Dear Evil Editor,

Attached you will find the entirety of my zero-word, 500-page fiction novel, THE NAKED WORLD. This groundbreaking new novel is an exact re-telling of “The Emperor Wears No Clothes” except instead of being exactly the same it’s all modernized and the Emperor is really the President and the protagonist is also the antagonist, a guy named Mr. Lillian who convinces the President to go around the world naked (hence the title).

But here’s the catch that will make this an instant classic: there are no words in the novel! What better way to illustrate the main theme of the story? Don’t stress yourself out trying to answer that, it’s a rhetorical question. There isn’t a better way to illustrate the point.

All we need is one good review, and then people will read the book and rave about it, even though it has no words in it! It’s like eating a meal of pure air, but with less chewing. It would be like an emperor walking around naked, thinking he was all decked out! Get it? We’re lucky George Lucas didn’t think of that first, he had an awesome Emperor character. Oh well, his loss.

Cheers, to our never-ending success and countless riches,

--Rick Daley


_*rachel*_ said...

A book without words about an emperor who wears no clothes?

Khazar-khum said...

I didn't like this book when it was called "Ulysses". ;-)

Dave Fragments said...

A no-word, 500 page novel. I think they called it playboy once upon a time.

Steve Wright said...

Mr. Daley, you are a very strange man.

I'm not saying you're actually wrong. But you're very strange.

ril said...

A literary John Cage. What a great idea. Like a Kindle with no battery. Very good!

M. G. E. said...

What next, a coffee table book about coffee table books that itself can fold into a little coffee-table? Madness!

Editors don't actually get queries like this one, do they?

Rick Daley said...

I thought the book without words telling the story of the emperor without clothes was too great to pass up.

My mind just works that way, for better or for worse. One of these days it may register as "high concept" but until then I'm stuck with "strange" and "absurd."

Anonymous said...

This is pretty good Performance Art.