Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Guess the Plot
1. Mom thinks Jimmy's little green elf buddy is imaginary and cute, so she lets him take piles of peanut butter crackers out back for their pretend lunch. But the greenie is really Xulpzi 95, a Martian space ranger and heartless mercenary on a mission to search and destroy!
2. OoegaMar, the forty-first Consort of Iegeth, is bound by her sacred duty to the Gooegen Empire to find and kill Tdyxxxn, the Vrxynnnx of the Qpykkkians. Little does anyone suspect OoegaMar and Tdyxxxn have sworn the blood oath to be Faerfennuuegen (pen pals).
3. An elf and a flying horse become best of friends, but keep their friendship secret--until the horse's mother is kidnapped by a cloud. Now they must team up to save mother, even if it means revealing their friendship. Also, a werewolf.
4. If only Princess Pea could see her paramour, Joe the kitchenman, openly, their lives would be so free and breezy! But no, they can only communicate via messenger pigeon and alphabet soup.
5. Mandy and Josh don't want to have sex. However, in post-apocolyptic North America (pop. 649,241), platonic relationships aren't just frowned upon, they're punishable. Can Mandy find someone willing to get her pregnant without taking credit, before Josh gets sacrificed to the neo-gods?
6. Johnny Wilson takes advice from a self-help book to expand his social circle, but each new friend has reasons for not hanging out. Shinobu belongs to a fight club, Ian is trying to get published, and James B.'s ex-girlfriends want to kill him. Will Johnny spend his graduation party alone?
Dear Evil Editor,
Pegasi do not belong on a human farm, [Of course not. They belong on a horse farm.] something the other foals never let Jusheron forget, and most elves scorn Sharael for her uncommon interest in other races. After a chance encounter, these two outsiders become steadfast friends, meeting in secret to avoid raising the suspicions of Jusheron’s mother and Sharael’s appointed guardian. [At this point I guess I'm supposed to assume Jusheron is a pegasus, and not a boy who brought a pegasus onto the farm, or a foal who invited a pegasus onto the farm. And I'm supposed to assume Sharael is an elf rather than a girl? The latter would be clear if it read: ...and Sharael is scorned by her fellow elves for her... ]
The delicate balance of deceit tips when a mysterious cloud abducts Jusheron’s mother right before his eyes. Distraught, the young pegasus has only one thought in mind - he must get her back, whatever the cost. Though she risks the wrath of her father, Sharael refuses to let her friend travel alone.
Pursued by Sharael’s tenacious guardian, the two friends are aided and impeded alike by many bizarre individuals, including a constantly babbling imp, a werewolf whose handsome looks hide inner turmoil, [I was suffering from inner turmoil last night. Had to take some Pepto Bismol.] a talking stallion who prefers a good debate to a good fight, and a dwarf who would rather invent magical potions than mine gold.
Clandestine Friendship is a young adult fantasy novel and stands at 58,000 words. The manuscript is available upon request.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
It seems to me that young adults would rather read a book about young adults than a book about an elf and a flying horse who are best of friends. What makes this more suitable for teenagers than for, say, a nine-year-old?
I'm more interested in where the cloud has taken Sharael's mommy and why, than in a list of characters encountered along the way.
I'd like to be certain that the main characters are a pegasus and an elf by the end of the first paragraph. I'm not certain Jusheron's a pegasus until paragraph 2, and it's never made clear that Sharael isn't a human with an interest in other races--like elves.