Friday, August 17, 2007

Guess the Title 1

Below are five book descriptions taken from Your job is to guess which title goes with each description. Think of it as reverse Guess the Plot. Answers are below the quiz.

A. Robert wants to be a star in the movies. He has invented a system with his computer that could put the old stars back on the screen, alongside him. He has the script and the money, but Hollywood isn't keen. Could the perfect partnership lie with Ernest Fudgepacker of Fudgepacker's Emporium?

1. The Importance of Being a Purple Rose in Egypt

2. Nostradamus Ate My Hamster

3. Lauren Bacall Hates My Guts

4. Talkies, Zombies and Wannabes

5. The Anal Retentive Tourist

6. CPU Oughtta Be In Pixels

B. A passel of brainy, witty sf and dark fantasy writers amuse themselves by sitting around talking about odd diseases.

1. Fifteen Diseases that Could End Civilization as We Know It

2. Blue Rubber Bleb Nevus Syndrome Gave Me Bowel Nipples

3. Scab-Picking Time on Taurus IV

4. Diagnosis: Geeky

5. Homogeneous and Heterogeneous Catalysis in the Realms of the Vampyre

6. The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases

C. A survival guide for parents who find themselves marooned among volatile and incomprehensible aliens on Planet Teen.

1. Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?

2. Moms are from Mars, Dads are from Venus, Kids are a Pain in Uranus

3. Don't Have Sex, Make Sure He Uses a Condom, and Other Things to Tell Your Teen

4. Surviving the Alien Freak Who Took Over Your Kid's Room

5. There's Julie, Pretend We're Not Together, Mom

6. Teenagers Were Never Like This When I Was One

D. A lab pigeon who believes that he and his cohorts are human, narrates this rollicking tale about experimental subjects who are kept sated with tobacco and sherry.

1. Squabbles

2. The Pulp Pigeon Papers

3. Birdman of the Alcatraz Testing Labs

4. Succulent Squab on the Lam

5. Frisco Pigeon Mambo

6. Murder Most Fowl

E. Feminism, family values, these modern times, shopping, and the battle of the sexes are covered in this no-holds-barred assault on complacency.

1. If You Wanted Any Action You Should Have Noticed My Haircut

2. Get Off Your Ass, Mo-Fo: How to Cope with the Straight Dope in 12 Easy Lessons

3. Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye

4. Father Knows NOTHING

5. Lesbian Bitches from Valhalla and the Battle for the Mall of America!

6. The Adventures of Abigail Schnit and the Cocaine Tampon

Answers Below

The following people contributed fake titles: Dave, Ouch, Bill Highsmith, Khazar-khum, blogless_troll, Scott, ME, Robin S., December/Stacia, Evil Editor, and Anonymous.

The actual book titles that match the plots are:

A: 2; B: 6; C: 1; D: 5; E: 3


Blogless Troll said...

Diagnosis: Geeky

Moms are from Mars, Dads are from Venus, Kids are a Pain in Uranus


Dave Fragments said...

I got one right, two wrong. The other two, I passed over the correct answer as too outrageous for a wrong answer.

Laurie Wood said...

Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth: I'm Kissing You Goodbye.

LOL! That one's good enough to use!

Robin S. said...

I thought this one: "Geek and Fudgepacker Sing Showtunes" was better than the actual title of A. And The Anal Retentive Tourist - Anne Tyler would be proud.

I like these, but it seems like there are too many choices. Apparently I like my choices to be nice and trim, like boxwood hedges not on steroids. Or something like that.

Dave Fragments said...

Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye is a great title for a country-western song.

AND Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? is the next big FOX TV show like OC or that other teen angst tv show, like what's it's name? I forget. did you watch it last night? the one with the cute bos and the snotty girls with big... ... ...

Pete said...

The Encyclopedia of Discredited Diseases is actually a really cool book, if you can find a copy of it. If I recall, Neil Gaiman's disease was "Diseasemaker's Croup," which is a disease that causes you to make up diseases.

(I used the word "disease" a statistically improbable number of times in this message.)

I really dug reading this. I wouldn't mind reading it again, and contributing to it, now that I see how it works. I hope we get it again, EE.

writtenwyrdd said...

Some awesome fake titles. Most better than the real ones!

Anonymous said...

Good gad. I've read one of those.

Nancy Beck said...

OMG - this was great! I got 2 right out of 4 (how messed up is that?).

More, please!
Blue Rubber Bleb Nevus Syndrome Gave Me Bowel Nipples

I'm going to have nightmares tonight.


Sylvia said...

I laughed loads and only got one right. I hope you do more of these. :)