Monday, August 06, 2007
Guess the Plot
1. When Dmitri Federov is badly injured, his twin brother takes his place. But going from pair to singleton isn't all it's cracked up to be--especially when your opposite number was an irresponsible, deceitful druggie.
2. When newly-crowned World Backgammon champion Gavin De Leon is found dead with a single backgammon piece plunged deep in his throat, his murder exposes the cut and thrust of the turbulent world behind this apparently sedate game.
3. John Singleton's life was a disaster: three marriages, four arrests, countless jobs. Can the mysterious woman he meets at church help him out of his rut--or is she just a demon looking for an easy soul?
4. Alone in a world inhabited by Multiples, Al Fishton is bullied and teased at school, until the Dark Triplets descend and an ancient prophecy is uncovered. Now he must take up his destiny as . . . Singleton.
5. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, yada yada yada. Microbiologist Helen Drew is a closeted lesbian, and sick of being jibed at by her relatives for her single state. But she shows them, when she develops a virus that attaches to the Y chromosome, turning men into women.
6. CIA agent Shane Singleton thought his cover was blown when he heard someone whisper, "singleton." He slipped his hand into his pocket and palmed his piece. He swung around . . . and shot a bridge player 'tween the eyes.
Sash Federov expects he'll live and die in the shadow of his identical twin. Dmitri is dynamic, charming, and irresponsible: everything Sash is not. And everyone loves him. Sash has never expected this to change, and he's never really wanted it to. He'll gladly lead Dmitri's crowd of admirers. At least he has a front row seat for the madness.
But a soccer accident leaves Dmitri badly injured. [No, no, it's the fans who get injured in soccer, during the post-game riots.] [Most soccer injuries are faked anyway, like this: ] Now Sash is on his own, trying to find his identity in Dmitri's world of parties, drugs, and deceit. Can Sash take his brother's place? [You mean actually impersonate him? Does Dmitri want him to? Why?] Or will it take more than genetics to really understand all that Dmitri is?
Singleton is a quiet, honest, coming-of-age complete at 50,000 words. I believe it's subtle humor and absolutely fresh view of teenage life make it a perfect match for your needs in young adult fiction.
As a young writer, I'm able to write about teenagers in a way that's original and accurate. However, I am not inexperienced; My first novel, The Sublime, was accepted by Cantarabooks in January and will be released in September.
I've enclosed the first five pages of Singleton , and the remainder of the manuscript is ready for your review if you're interested in taking a look.
The only thing that happens in this book that's worth reporting is a soccer injury? We need more than a description of the main characters, we need some plot. Why does Sash want to take Dmitri's place? Doesn't everyone know about Dmitri's injury? Why is Sash happy being around Dmitri? If he's not irresponsible and into drugs and partying, I would expect him to be highly uncomfortable hanging around with Dmitri.
It sounds more like he enlists in Dmitri's army of followers than that he leads them.
It's better to give us more facts about the plot than to use words like "subtle," "original," "perfect match," "absolutely fresh." Convince us it's these things without stating it. Besides, if you say it's an accurate depiction of teens, and then claim it's original and absolutely fresh, it sound like you're saying you're the first person to accurately depict teenage life.
Soccer players practicing their fake injuries