Face-Lift 373

Guess the Plot

Werewoman

1. By day, she lived in the woods, chased after squirrels, and snoozed in the sunshine. But by night she wore grey flannel suits and traded the Japanese markets. She was . . . Werewoman!

2. Butch, Guts, and Ripper are pleasantly surprised when a rare female werewolf joins their pack. Tension ensues, however, when the three pals turn against one another in hopes of winning the position of Alpha male, and the affections of . . . Werewoman.

3. When Timmy goes missing on a winter field trip, only one person can penetrate the gloom of the Arctic, find the eco-terrorist's hideout, and rescue the boy before it's too late: wildlife photographer Jane Eminescu, the notorious . . . Werewoman.

4. When Noah Fenton is seduced and bitten by a mysterious woman during a night of debauchery, he doesn’t think much of it--until the next full moon causes his penis to shrivel and crawl inside his body, and he becomes . . . Werewoman.

5. She was an ordinary Persian until the accident that sent her flying from her owner's limousine window into a dark alley . . . Now, every full moon, this stray cat becomes a bar-hopping little pussy known as . . . Werewoman.

6. Denise didn't know what was wrong with her until Dr. Schadenfreude worked magic with a scalpel, a suture and liposuction. Now he's Dennis, one of those who once . . . Were women.




Original Version

Dear Agent,

When Noah Fenton is seduced and bitten by a mysterious woman during a debaucherous night in Mexico, he doesn’t think much of it. But back home in San Francisco four weeks later, he transforms into a beautiful woman when the next full moon rises. [I've been in San Francisco, and believe me, what goes on there has nothing to do with the moon.]


Noah is terrified at first – watching your penis shrivel and crawl inside your body is hard on a guy – [Unless, like Evil Editor, he regularly swims in Lake Superior in February, in which case he's used to it.] [If Noah doesn't want to watch his penis shrivel, he might consider wearing pants, at least when the moon is full.] but he soon realizes the potential of his peculiar situation. [He can now wear ladies' undergarments without fear that he'll be involved in an accident requiring hospitalization, and he can stop pretending he likes pro wrestling.] As the moons come and go and he changes sex for three days every month, he begins to crave the spotlight that shines on beautiful women. He's also educated in the wonders of womanhood in ways most men would kill for: from studious explorations of his female anatomy [This is starting to get a little weird.] to being on the receiving end of clumsy pick-up lines. [Not even EE would go so far as to kill just to hear some woman say, "Is that a rejected manuscript in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"]

But not all discovery is fun. Noah can’t find the courage to tell his friends and family what's happened to him, [Hey, his friends would envy him. And his mother was probably hoping for a girl from the beginning.] and his baffling journey is taken alone. After he’s unjustly fired from his job as an editorial assistant at the San Francisco Independent, he plots to use his female body to expose his unscrupulous boss. In high heels and a little black dress, Noah expects to breeze through a plan to avenge his firing. Will he learn in time something all women know, that some men don’t take no for an answer? [That sounds like your plot, those last three sentences. I'm not sure you need much of what's in paragraph 2; in fact some of it may be hurting your cause.]

Inspired by the werewolf myth, Werewoman is 72,000 words. My short stories have been published in the Apalachee Review, Literal Latte and Catalyst, the student literary journal of UC Santa Barbara. I have never, to my knowledge, turned into a woman under the full moon.

I’d be happy to send you a copy of the manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,


Notes

Inspired by the werewolf myth . . . or by Werewoman? Check out these 12 comic book covers (7 on page 1 and 5 on page 2). Hilarious. Some of them sound just like this plot.

At times it sounds like comedy, at times like serious business. Comic relief is okay in the book, but if it's not a comedy you don't want your query to hint that it is.

I'd dump the isolated facts about Noah and his situation, and provide more info about his plot. Why was he fired, and what's he doing about it?]