Face-Lift 580

Guess the Plot

The Pebble

1. Plucked from the rock shore by the then four year old Olza Crwzstyn, a small pebble the size and color of a dove's egg becomes the one constant in the lives of three generations of an East European immigrant family in post-war Greenland.

2. The landslide that destroyed Littleville was started by a pebble -- a pebble thrown by bad boy Jimmy Bean, who is now #1 on Sheriff Tyrone's list of Most Wanted Bastards. This is the worst day of Betty Anne's life. Six hours ago all was well, now her beauty parlor is in ruins, her son Jimmy is on the lam, her lawman boyfriend has sworn to put him behind bars for life, and there's no whiskey left in her bottle. Got a cigarette?

3. Unaware that King Uthpindar the Reprehensible is strolling below, juvenile delinquents high on the Ledge of Vastness toss rocks over the edge, causing the sudden demise of said monarch, followed by national jubilation and anarchy--until Todd Lawless and his shipload 'o hearty pirates sail in to make their conquest.

4. Jane Cummings hates her stepmother, Roxanne, an evil 23 year old slut who used burlesque moves to lure Jane's ailing ancient father to an undignified death and now lives large as a merry billionaire widow while Jane makes do in a tiny apartment on a diet of soda crackers and the pittance she gets from her library job. But now that Jane has lost 85 pounds, started looking good in a skimpy leopard-print romper, and is secretly doing target practice with a slingshot, a mere pebble could change everything.

5. Locked away in a miserable cell, Ronan escapes through a pebble, landing 1000 years in the future, where he falls in love with Teagan after materializing in her sitting room. It's a dream come true, until a very powerful witch shows up wanting something Ronan has. Could it be . . . The Pebble?

6. When oppressed teenager Gemma Jones tossed a pebble at the bedroom window of her love interest Henry Patterson, she had no intention of killing a wicked witch and being rewarded with a pair of magical red shoes. Now that she can become invisible, walk on water, and fly, it's time to get started on her list of revenges.


Original Version

Dear Editor.

Great things sometimes come in dull packages.

Teagan would never have guessed she holds a gate to eternity in her hands. It’s nothing but a dull black pebble, after all. [It's hard to see how you can hold a pebble in more than one hand.] There are all sorts of ways to explain away the friendly presence she becomes aware of from the day she brings it home from the beach. That is, until an all too real five foot nine presence with a mischievous grin and burnt-umber eyes materialises in her sitting room, and no amount of reasoning can explain him away. [LSD in the tea explains it.] [Why are we calling it a "presence" now that it has materialized? She should be able to come up with a more specific term if she tries really hard.]

Not that Teagan tries very hard.

Ronan is all too keen to stay in the twenty-first century. He came to Teagan from more than a thousand years ago, escaping through the pebble from a miserable cell. He'd spent thirteen years studying magic, and he's dying to show Teagan everything he's learned. The only thing standing between him and bliss with the woman he loves [He loves her? Already?] is a witch. A very powerful witch. [Teagan's mother.] Ronan has something she wants, and she’ll do anything to get it from him. Now all he and Teagan have to do is figure out what it is. [Could it be . . . The Pebble?]

The Pebble is a 95 000-word paranormal romance set in both modern and ancient Ireland, as well as in Tir Na nOg, the mystical land beyond time from Celtic mythology.

I am a fulltime, prolific author of romantic fiction. I grew up in South Africa, but moved to Ireland in 2005, where I now live with my husband, our three children and six cats. [Those two sentences aren't needed. You could work your Irish connection into the previous paragraph: . . . set in Ireland, where I currently reside, and in Tir Na nOg, the land . . .] I cut my author’s teeth writing fantasy, with my second story ever sold making it into [publication]'s ‘best of’ anthology for 2006. I turned my attention to romance in December 2007 after sales of short stories with romantic elements to publications such as [list of four romance fiction publishers].

This is not an exclusive query. [What?! Who else has it? It's that Query Shark chick isn't it? Man, that ticks me off.]

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.


Notes

If a very powerful witch wants something you have, it shouldn't be that hard for her to get it, even if you dabbled in magic a thousand years ago.

Has the powerful witch followed Ronan from 1000 years ago, or is she a 21st-century witch?

Was Ronan inside the pebble for 1000 years waiting for someone to pick it up? Or was he transported instantly to the 21st century?

Possibly the second paragraph should be something like:

It's easy enough to explain away the friendly presence Teagan senses after she brings the dull black pebble home from the beach. Not so easily explained is the all-too-real five-foot-nine hunk with a mischievous grin and burnt-umber eyes who materialises in her sitting room.

This gets rid of the "gate to eternity" phrase, which is never explained.

A pebble seems like a boring item to be a gate to eternity. It doesn't have the cachet of "ring of power" or Excalibur or Holy Grail. If the book's title is going to be the item that's the gate to eternity, that item needs to be something that grabs. The Eternity Stone. Rock of Ages. The Time Cobble.