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Guess the Plot

Mattie and the Milkweed Egg

1. Jane went to a witch to find a cure for her mother. But to finish the potion, she needs a milkweed egg. Will her morals get in the way when she realizes she needs one of the last monarch butterfly eggs?

2. Mattie finds an egg on the milkweed plant in her backyard. She schedules an auction, since monarch butterflies are nigh extinct, unknowingly setting herself up for investigation by homeland security, bashing by the wildlife conservation society, and alien abduction.

3. One year after Mattie rallied her third grade class to fight off a hoard of sentient milkweeds, she's ousted from her throne of popularity by new kid Cindy. But Mattie's been keeping a secret: a shiny egg she found among the ruins of the milkweed's lair. Should she hatch it and become an evil mastermind? Or frame up Cindy instead? Decisions, decisions.

4. In this sequel to How to Make a Butterfly Fly, an injured Monarch Butterfly named Mattie manages to deposit an egg on a milkweed plant. But will she live long enough to see her child soar through the air?

5. The milkweed egg Mattie was supposed to guard has hatched, and its caterpillar has disappeared, and if Mattie is going to find it, she'll have to take her mother’s lessons to heart to find her own strengths. Also, she'll probably need a good magnifying glass.

Original Version

Dear First Name of Agent, [First name? Who are you writing to, your BFF? In the future, when your books are putting money in your agent's wallet, you'll be on a first-name basis, but for now, this agent is Ms. Wizard of Oz, and you are the Scarecrow. No, that's not strong enough. This agent is Sauron, and you are not even Pippin. You are one of the nameless Hobbits dancing around the maypole, totally oblivious to the perils that lurk in the real world.]

I am querying MATTIE AND THE MILKWEED EGG, a chapter book at 9.4k words. It will appeal to kids who love the magical adventures, fairy friends, and school settings of series like Unicorn Academy, The Never Girls, and Diary of an Accidental Witch. With a setting that grounds the reader in the outdoors, magic is always rooted in the reality of nature in this story. [This paragraph can come after the plot summary.] 

Nine-year-old Mattie wants to succeed on her first day of [Fairy] school—or at least not be the worst. Fairy school is full of challenges, from using magic to kids that don’t get along with her or each other.

Mattie [, where she] and her classmates are meant to learn how [taught] to watch over and protect nature. Their first assignment is to take care of the creature that will hatch from a mysterious egg. When the caterpillar that emerges won’t eat any of the leaves they have collected, Mattie is the one who finally recognizes the milkweed it needs. But the caterpillar goes missing the next day. [You had one job!!!] Mattie will need to take her mother’s lessons to heart to find her own strengths—and find the caterpillar. [Were the students told the caterpillar needed milkweed, and what milkweed looked like, and Mattie was the one who spotted a milkweed plant? In which case, why were they collecting all these other leaves? Or were they told nothing, and Mattie brilliantly recognized it was milkweed that was needed, after Googling it?]

While MATTIE AND THE MILKWEED EGG stands alone, I have drafts of the second and third books in a planned series. Each book has a plot connected to an organism, ecological relationship, or other interesting aspect of nature. 

I have drawn on my knowledge of and love for the outdoors, as a botanist [who specializes in milkweed,] and hiker [who occasionally spots a butterfly], in writing this story. 

Thank you for your consideration.

Kind regards,

Notes

[We just had a query about a caterpillar/butterfly a few weeks ago. That was a picture book, this is a chapter book. Next week I expect a YA novel about a high school student aspiring to be a lepidopterist, and then: 

According to my research, the egg in question would be the size of a pinhead, and glued to the bottom of a milkweed leaf. Getting it off the leaf without damaging it would be difficult. Was the egg attached to a leaf when the students got it? 

Reminds me of the old joke, How many fairies does it take to protect an endangered butterfly's egg? Twelve. One to hide the egg in its pocket, and eleven to fight off the billionaire who thinks it's an aphrodisiac. 

It would be good for your story if finding a caterpillar that can't crawl much more than a foot per hour actually required inner strength and mother's life lessons, but it mainly requires looking for it without stepping on it.

This sounds more like a picture book title and plot. Is there a villain who snatched the caterpillar to sell it on the black market? Are the other fairies blaming Mattie because the caterpillar disappeared during her shift? What will happen if the caterpillar isn't found? Did an evil hummingbird eat the caterpillar? You've summarized the story in five sentences. Expand that to ten with some intriguing specific information.