Face-Lift 1485

Guess the Plot

This Book Has No Title

1. That's right, no title. Also, no plot, no characters, no descriptions, no themes, no nothings. There are random letters jumbled on the pages for your amusement. Please give the lazy author lots of money.

2. This book has no plot! This plot has no characters! This book has no words!

3. When Elenore discovers her girlfriend's been murdered she tries to resurrect her but instead she accidentally summons a monster from outer space who only eats human flesh but it can't eat Elenore's dead girlfriend because it's trapped inside the corpse so Elenore has to go murder someone else and then it gets really complicated so now you know why I couldn't think of a better title.

4. As with every query posted here lately, the world is in danger of being destroyed, and it's up to one person, probably a teenaged girl, to save us all. But this book is different, because . . . This Book Has No Title.

5. Boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girls to jerk until girl wises up . . . it's the standard romance, but with a title so intriguing everyone will buy it to find out why there's no title.

Original Version

Dear [Full Name]

Seventeen-year-old Elenore should be studying to become her town’s first Asian valedictorian, not trying to resurrect her murdered girlfriend. Her plan goes awry when her terrible pronunciation [of a spell?] summons an injured eldritch creature from outer space. And it’s trapped inside her girlfriend’s body. [Does it just lie there inside the motionless corpse, or is it in control of the corpse, making it seem alive?] [Is Elenore a witch? What makes her think she can resurrect her girlfriend?]

Elenore is desperate to fix her mistake so she cuts the monster a deal—she'll help nurse it back to health. The monster must then vacate her girlfriend’s body [You wouldn't have to keep calling her "her girlfriend" if you'd given her a name in the first sentence. It's an easy fix, say "her murdered girlfriend, Chloe". Of course, this causes a new problem, namely that Chloe isn't the name you gave her, but that, too, is an easy fix: Just use the "replace all" feature to change her name to Chloe everywhere.] and return home once it’s healed. [The monster was summoned through accidental magic. There's no reason to believe it has the ability to travel through space to wherever it originated. Also, if the monster decides it wants to stay on Earth, it's not gonna leave just because it made a deal. It'll stay, and blame the language barrier.] Until that time comes, Elenore will feed the monster and ensure nobody else in town will learn the truth. [What is the truth?]

Now, Elenore balances the life of an awkward geek by day and animal hunter at night. [Why does she have to hunt animals? If the monster doesn't like fruits and veggies and pasta, there's plenty of meat available at the grocery store.] But when a sleep-deprived Elenore runs over someone with her car, the monster soon acquires a taste for human flesh. [Was she driving around with a monster/corpse in her car, killed a pedestrian, and her passenger got out and started chowing down? Or did she kill the pedestrian, throw it in the trunk, and drive it home to feed to the monster? In which case she now has two dead people to deal with.] [What happens when the cops arrive at the scene of the accident and discover the victim's legs have been eaten? (The legs are the best part.) (Or so I've heard.)] With it unwilling to eat anything else, Elenore is determined to find another way to appease its voracious appetite. Or she’ll have no choice but to actually murder someone. [She'll have another option: Not murdering someone. Her attempt to resurrect Chloe was a failure, so it's about time she phoned the authorities to come and get the body and take it to the morgue. Where the monster will have a steady influx of fresh human.]

UNTITLED is an (est. 80000)-word YA horror. It combines the eldritch horror of I Feed Her To The Beast And The Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea and the dark vibes of Don’t Let The Forest In by C.G. Drews. [My bio right here]. Thank you for your time and consideration. 

Notes

Is Elenore in her home when she finds the body? In Chloe's home? If not, where is she, that no one else has noticed the dead body? 

Wait, did Elenore murder Chloe, and then realize she was gonna be in big trouble, so that's why she's trying to resurrect her? A more normal reaction would be to remove any evidence that she was there, clear out, and hope the cops suspect someone else.

So many opportunities to make this a comedy, rather than horror. Or horror/comedy. It's like one of those episodes of I Love Lucy, where things go wrong and just snowball. Change her name from Chloe to Lucy.

Philosophical question: If a space monster inhabits a corpse, can it automatically speak the language the corpse spoke?