Sunday, April 27, 2014

Evil Editor Classics

Guess the Plot

Anatali: Eternal

1. Anatali is bored with immortality. He spends every moment attempting suicide. Unexpectedly, the fruitless attempts awaken a creative spirit in Anatali who begins to pass the nights inventing new and interesting ways of self demise. He then publishes his book: 1,000,000 Ways to Off Yourself.

2. On the planet of Q'xtlm, emperor Rlpbzp forbids all vowels and terrifies with his army--until a warrior takes the name Anatali and incites revolution.

3. Lanrete Ilatana, an Anatali warrior from the Im地ken tribe, sets out to recover the Amethyst of Eternity from the Mountain of Death to defeat Lord Blackheart.

4. Aboard the S.S. Anatali, a week before Academy finals, an artificial life form runs a gauntlet of student riots, corrupt cops, and zombies, trying to keep her roommate from being expelled.

5. Geeky Baskin-Robbins scooper Bobby Hullet falls for the mysterious woman who makes daily visits for frozen treats. Will he melt her chilly heart? Or will the path to her love remain a rocky road?

6. Puzzle book author Eric Lynn can't spell. But his books of anagrams fly off the shelves because no one else can either . . . until his 4th grade teacher reappears in his life, determined to right a decades-old wrong.

Original Version

Dear //Agent//,

ANATALI : ETERNAL is a 100,000 word space opera, blending cyberpunk and paranormal though [through] an intimate voice. [Intimacy and cyberpunk: they go together like bacon and butterscotch.]

Dark Energy Theory, a cutting-edge science, fuels humanity's exodus from our solar system [The grass is always greener on the other side of the universe.] by harnessing the universe's most abundant--and dangerous--resource [: Styrofoam].

S.S. Anatali - January 27, 4128 - A week before Academy finals, Lillian, a prototype Artificial Lifeform, embarks on a midnight crusade to save her roommate from expulsion. [Why is her roommate being threatened with expulsion? Why would an Artificial Lifeform care whether her roommate was expelled? Why should we care? Is this Artificial Lifeform your main character? Artificial Lifeforms have to take finals? Do they ever fail? I mean, Data was an Artificial Lifeform, right? Even if he forgot to study, Data would never fail an exam. He'd be one of those annoying guys who finishes the whole exam and walks out while you're still on question 3.] When a hacker's security virus throws her dormitories into bedlam, Lillian and her friends run a gauntlet of student riots, corrupt cops, undead assailants, [Please use the scientific term: zombies.] online gaming, a love hexagon, and baking-- [Baking?] yes, baking. Center stage in a paranormal power play, [Hockey riddle: What do they call it when the New Jersey Devils are a man up? A paranormal power play!] the truth about Dark Energy Theory and her own mysterious design are about to collide. [The sentences in this paragraph need better connections to one another. Right now it sounds like a list of random stuff in the book. If you let ideas build on one another, we'll get a sense of story.]

I've included a brief sample, per your submission guidelines. At request I can send the entire manuscript or any part thereof. [I'll take the love hexagon part.] I use my website as a forum for short stories and new content, and as a device for building [artificial life forms and] an online community around my project. Thank you for your time and consideration.



More information about the plot is needed. Is this book about dark energy or Lillian's roommate, or something you've barely touched on? Where is the Anatali? Where is it going?

As dark energy theory exists in 2006, it seems unlikely to be a cutting edge science in 4128. In fact, it seems unlikely to still be a theory. Setting this book more than 2000 years in the future means assuming that hackers and online gaming and cops and baking--yes, baking--will not be long-forgotten, just as chariots, gladiators, and sandals are today.

Selected Comments

Aarin said...Thanks for the write-up, EE! Never in the story do I ever drop the 'Z' word, so I figured why force 'zombies' into the query.

Evil Editor said...I, on the other hand, jump at any opportunity to force zombies into my blog.

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