Guess the Plot
1. Murdered by aliens they ruled over ruthlessly, Captain Sabine and the Emperor have come back to life! It's revenge time, but can two zombies wipe out the entire alien fleet?
2. Joe Bob, necromancer, runs a small business selling undead slaves. When one of his subjects comes back to life instead of un-life, he needs to find the non-corpse to prove he's not responsible before zealots, grieving families and a pantheon of demigods turn him into one of his usual subjects.
3. You will need:
- car battery
- jump leads
- copy of Necronomicon
- air freshener (optional)
4. As the Siberian mystery deepens, Tabasco Jones prepares for her meeting with Bleu Flambei, the internationally renowned graffiti artist and superspy. They deciphered the Weatherman Code too late to save New Orleans, but the latest message says Vladavostok will be destroyed with heat rays on Tuesday.
5. When Roger discovers the powers of Viagra, his wife of 32 years says no way and files for divorce. Single again, Roger goes wild and the rest of the story -- is porn.
6. When Lenny the Cockroach is found six legs up, the Band of Merry Dust Mites goes into mourning. Their god is dead. But three days later, Lenny is up and running about. Was he faking it, or did these dust mites witness . . . The Resurrection?
I see that you’ve represented John Miller (FATE OF THE JEDI) and Troy Denning (LOST TRIBE OF THE SITH), whose books fall into the same category as THE RESURRECTION. [My research indicates that John Jackson Miller is the author of some short stories in a series called Lost Tribe of the Sith and that Troy Denning is the author of a book called Abyss, which is one book in a series called Fate of the Jedi. So unless these guys both write for both series, you've mixed them up. Also, these are Star Wars fiction. There's no indication below that yours is a Star Wars novel, and if it isn't, to say that it falls into the same category is going to misrepresent it, at least to this particular agent. If it is set in the Star Wars world, say so.] I would love for my debut 150,000-word science fiction novel to be taken on by an agent of your stature. [And to say a 150,000-word novel falls into the same category as a short story is a stretch.]
Ambitious twenty-year-old Captain Sabine is a human resurrection with a big chore left over from her past life: she has to convince the other resurrection—her emperor—to stop [eating people's brains and to stop] seeking revenge against the aliens they ruled ruthlessly and were murdered by in their past life. [How can convincing the emperor to stop seeking revenge on the aliens be a chore left over from her past life? In her past life she wasn't doing this chore, so it's new to her current life.] But when she has the cabal plotting his assassination wrapped around her finger, [The emperor's assassination? How long has he been alive again? One day you're dead, the next day you're alive again, only to discover there's already a cabal plotting your assassination?
I'm forming a cabal to assassinate the emperor. You in?
I thought the emperor was dead.
He was, but he came back to life.
What's the point of assassinating him if he can come back to life?
Hmm. I'll get back to you on that. Any other questions?
Yeah. What's a cabal?]
and the weapon to crush the alien fleet at her disposal, she finds herself thinking that revenge might be a good idea after all—right alongside flying solo. [That's the whole plot? One zombie tries to convince another not to wipe out a fleet of aliens, and then decides to start her own firm?]
(is it worth mentioning that I used to author a column in a local paper in which I reviewed dance mix CD’s? [No.] I didn’t think so. And I take it membership in local writers’ organizations don’t mean shit either?) [Correct.]
I appreciate your time and consideration.
If you call them zombies instead of human resurrections, you'll triple your sales.
While I admire your ability to condense your 150,000-word plot into two sentences, another five or six would be useful in conveying to us what happens in your book.
Why are there only two human resurrections?
How can the emperor ruthlessly rule aliens who have a fleet? It seems to me that if someone is ruthlessly ruling you and you have a fleet, you'll either use it to go to war or use it to fly away, depending on how well you think you'll fare in a war. You're not gonna just put up with someone ruthlessly ruling you.